Work: Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business...

By avoid the sour cream - 30/12/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 695

You deserved it 2 839

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 4 032

Gassed up

By Tootie - 30/07/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 954

You deserved it 3 544

Diva

By justmeagain - 19/09/2022 13:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 196

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 227

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 349

By mn051299 - 10/02/2016 09:09 - Switzerland - Richterswil

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 380

You deserved it 3 759

By Anonymous - 27/10/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 105

You deserved it 3 058

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 063

You deserved it 2 597

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 119

You deserved it 1 732

Friends theme music plays

By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 200

LadyClarik 8

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:35

Try turning your tv and radio/iPod as loud as they can go to drown out the noise. Also try putting the shower and sink in simultaneously.

anitadoody 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 13:38

Oh come on, everybody poops. Let it just go with the flow!

Comments

oj101 33

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:08

Paper thin. Are you on a business trip in Japan? Remember to always be cautious, as ninjas are likely to jump through the walls any moment.

SonOfAMitch 14

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:38

And scare the ACTUAL shit in one big go.

bwzwally8 15

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:08

Lets hope its not smelly.

abceasyas123abc 12

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:34

OP should be so lucky. When is diarrhoea ever not smelly?

ApologyKick 25

Monday 31 December 2012 2:08

20- you do realize what we are talking about here right?

Homer1975 14

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:17

I have the experience dude, that you need open you asshole by your finger, then it's get quieter

OrangeKnife 10

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:31

Thats ******* disgusting.

HannahLouise96 13

Sunday 30 December 2012 15:58

I'm sorry, what?

Dracoboxer357 35

Sunday 30 December 2012 17:07

48- Unless I'm seriously mistaken, I think in the event of diarrhea, he's advising equalizing the pressure difference between the atmosphere and the inside of your rectum by allowing air to seep by your anus with the assistance of one of your digits, effectively bleeding off your butt's "explosive punch." The fact this man has researched and perfected this technique for exactly this situation, is both astounding, and revolting, all at once. ;P

poccocurantes 7

Sunday 30 December 2012 20:32

Disturbing and innovative.

HannahLouise96 13

Sunday 30 December 2012 21:51

Emphasis on the 'disturbing'.

nycwrestler 17

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:19

You going on a ballet trip?

nickob96 25

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:27

Be very quiet I'm hunting rabbits!

OrangeKnife 10

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:33

Actually If they laugh just shit on them.

GregoryStalver_fml 6

Sunday 30 December 2012 14:40

The first FML is that your company is cheap enough to make you share a room. I've done a lot of business trips in previous jobs, but none of them dared to have me sleep in the same room as coworkers. It's already a pain in the ass to get sent away from your home, but now you have to share the intimacy of the bedroom with your coworkers, that you may not even like ?