Miscellaneous: Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because...

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 565

You deserved it 4 839

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 245

You deserved it 1 477

Chill out, Mom

By poor girl - 27/06/2020 05:03

Today, my mom came over for dinner. She lost her mind, screaming and yelling, because my oven melted the dollar store cooking dish that she insisted on using. Never mind the fact I’m going to have to pay a couple hundred, if not a thousand dollars for a new stove. Oh no, she’s out a whole buck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 133

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 17:32 - Canada - Brantford

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 886

You deserved it 3 329

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 150

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 692

You deserved it 6 206

Possession

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 18:00

Today, my mom wants me to get an exorcism because piercings, tattoos, my own car, my own career, moving out of her house, and wanting zero contact with her from now on are "sure signs of demonic possession", maybe even the influence of Lucifer himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 138

"Tubular Bells" by Mike Oldfield starts playing…

By Sodapop40 - 21/06/2020 05:05

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 579

You deserved it 128

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 998

You deserved it 7 612

By Anonymous - 28/03/2015 04:39 - United States - Madison

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 745

You deserved it 2 433

Fire hazard

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 582

You deserved it 4 140

badgrandpa 9

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:16

pretend to fall asleep and then act like you got possessed

eternal_malaise 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:25

Give her a list of your favorite baked foods that are known to repel demons.

Comments

rinoa_fml 10

Sunday 16 February 2014 2:58

Your mother needs psychiatric help. If you are old enough to post on here you are old enough to search online for ways to get help for the mentally ill.

buttcramp 21

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:58

I totally agree! even if you talked to your school counselor about it , OP.. that's still a step in the right direction.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:27

"so about my mom... yeah, she thinks the oven is possessed."

merrrrrgen 7

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:04

Break out the salt and holy water. Draw a devil's trap. Recite the exorcism (the one that we all have memorized.) If all else fails, call the Winchesters, curl up in fetal position, and sing "Carry On My Wayward Son" until they get there.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:28

who has an exorcism memorized..

fadingaway 17

Sunday 16 February 2014 8:41

Every Supernatural fan.

SherlockWHolmes 12

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:40

Or perhaps some of us go all Sammy Winchester.. you know.. knockin' them out without a word.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:59

hm. what's Supernatural?

Rababco 29

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:56

Sounds like someone forgot to take her meds this morning!

buttcramp 21

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:56

get your mom some help?

buttcramp 21

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:59

while I agree the mom seems like she cares enough about OP to remove herself and OP from the house.. I still think the mom needs help from a counselor or therapist.

cmbar831 14

Sunday 16 February 2014 3:59

She'll be laughing when your over becomes a serial killer

fuggotmuggot 14

Sunday 16 February 2014 4:35

YOU NEVER KNOOOW.

an3ph 20

Sunday 16 February 2014 4:37

You'll be free of her soon enough, and you can have a normal life.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 16 February 2014 7:37

"free of her"... it's her mom, not some burden. instead of being "free of her" maybe she should do as the others have said and help her, not count down the days until her 18h birthday.