Animals: Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five...

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By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 330

You deserved it 5 789

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Same thing different taste

Not so cute

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 443

Darwin smiled

By Ihateracoons - 06/09/2022 06:30

Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 5 337

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 094

You deserved it 21 079

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 461

You deserved it 2 932

By and god shat - 11/07/2014 23:38 - United States - Klamath Falls

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 299

You deserved it 9 093

By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 792

You deserved it 4 667

Crowded house

By upset - 25/10/2016 00:08

Today I opened the door for my cat and he brought in a rat with him. Now the rat is hiding in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 269

You deserved it 915

By Anonymous - 28/02/2010 11:16 - Canada

Today, a wild squirrel managed to get into my house. I can't see him… but I can hear him in the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 153

You deserved it 2 614

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 105

I'm not getting paid enough for this shit

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 664

You deserved it 3 497

chevygirl23 17

Friday 10 January 2014 16:47

Call animal control

Trym 7

Friday 10 January 2014 16:50

Hiss back! Display your dominance!

Comments

Nish007 15

Friday 10 January 2014 19:45

Racoona matata my friend

KainMoogle 21

Friday 10 January 2014 19:57

You should have payed off your house loan, now nook is out for blood!

JKROB 16

Friday 10 January 2014 20:00

Want to borrow my shotgun? you can out some salt shot in it just to scare the shit out if them.

shaytards_fml 9

Friday 10 January 2014 20:01

turn on your vacuum and attack them lol

jude_iscariot 7

Friday 10 January 2014 20:13

Do you own a broom? Swing it at them. Easily solved.

invalid240 9

Friday 10 January 2014 20:34

YDI for being a coward.

smokecloud_ 37

Friday 10 January 2014 21:28

Have you ever been cornered by a raccoon? Those ******* are mean.

iluvferrets 13

Friday 10 January 2014 23:57

My husband and I were camping in September and there was a raccoon that decided our hot dog buns and tackle box were his. That darn thing stood on its hind legs and hissed before leaving the tackle box. It was really cute though.