Miscellaneous: Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly....

By ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 016

You deserved it 12 625

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Same thing different taste

Misleading

By KL. - 05/06/2009 19:46 - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 505

You deserved it 5 016

Peter and Pan

By dudeWTF - 03/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 183

By Anonymous - 01/05/2011 05:36 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend called me as I was getting ready for bed and asked me to pick him up from the bar. Being a loving girlfriend I drive the 45 minutes; when I get there his friend informs me he left about 45 minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 452

You deserved it 5 190

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 4 614

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 577

You deserved it 69 630

By whereismyprince? - 18/12/2013 17:01 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 616

You deserved it 7 451

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

Debate bros

By bitchasshonky - 11/08/2010 04:09 - France

Today, I had a fancy dinner date with a really hot guy. Near the end of our meal, he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. As soon as we walked in the door, he started a religious debate with his roommate. It's been 45 minutes and it's still going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 014

You deserved it 5 567

By 3some? uh, no - 01/02/2013 19:59 - Dominican Republic

Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 249

You deserved it 33 146

Disappointed

By Lonelyhopeful - 05/12/2016 20:08

Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 666

You deserved it 999

SkoomaKi 27

Sunday 22 April 2012 16:20

Unlucky OP, but quite creative on his part.

the_true_batman 10

Sunday 22 April 2012 16:20

Seducingly? I think you mean seductively. And you totally deserved it.

Comments

SpottedZebra42 14

Sunday 22 April 2012 21:02

11 - What? Wait....Wha-....WHAT?? (Tennant FTW) You make the same comment twice but it gets rated differently each time?

Suavemente_fml 2

Sunday 22 April 2012 21:16

Bitch got owned.

Unicornszxcvb 6

Sunday 22 April 2012 21:30

Not everyone goes to the bar just to hookup with someone

KrayKrayGurl117 7

Sunday 22 April 2012 21:40

Did he at LEAST leave you with his number?

fuckmebutdontfml 16

Sunday 22 April 2012 21:55

guess he didn't drink as much as you thought...

Nthabz 8

Sunday 22 April 2012 22:06

YDI for speaking such bad English. There's no such thing as 'seducingly'...it's seductively, dumbo.

saschateehee 1

Sunday 22 April 2012 23:17

Then prepare to be "that guy that we thinks gay cause he never hooks up"

untamed112 0

Monday 23 April 2012 0:07

I would have laughed too....... Sorry but that's the funniest thing ive read in a while

anisaxm20 0

Monday 23 April 2012 0:20

Thats funny

YeahCourse 4

Monday 23 April 2012 0:22

Damn that sucks OP

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 192

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, because my fiancé is criminally incompetent at budgeting, I'm now having to pay the first installment for my own wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 576

You deserved it 4 471

Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 1 000

Today, I bought a nice new dress for a work party, but when I went to it, a coworker hurried me into the bathroom saying, "Don't worry we can fix this." She thought someone had been sick on me. Thanks. That was just the pattern of the dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 825

You deserved it 7 384

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 901

You deserved it 3 049

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 89

Today, after two years of vigorously fundraising on behalf of my senior class, they voted on spending the senior trip money at a waterpark. It's less than thirty minutes from where we all live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 923

You deserved it 2 905