Op, you could always point out u needed to talk to her from purely a medical point of view. Sometimes serious health problems are passed down. You don't know what kind of things to watch for. Might give them a different view in the situation.

I am really sorry that your family is being that way. I recently got in touch with my father after having not heard a single word from him for 18 years. We were raised by his parents, that side of the family pretty much thinks I am dirt now as well. I only did it so my siblings and I could find out about any medical problems of his and our mother's/her side of the family.

Best of luck to you, OP. my husband is adopted and we are searching for his birth parents in hopes of getting medical history before we have babies. It has been hard on his mother - she fears losing her son. His family has always been very frustrating about him being adopted - he gets those same rude comments: "What do you care, he wasn't really your grandfather." "My real brother is dead, I don't need any more siblings. You don't need to be a part of your nephew's life." Etc. It is very hurtful. I am sorry they are that way. But I am glad you were able to get the answers you needed, and I know with time your family will come to understand that you aren't abandoning them.

Here is what I would tell your parents, I was trying to find her so I can learn of any health defects that may be on her side of my genes I only wanted to learn if I have anything to worry about my health as I get older. Hope this helps you out :-)

Sorry to hear that. When I get older I want to have at least one adopted kid, and if my family doesn't treat them right then they can forget speaking to me. I hate when that one snobby person in your family convinces everyone else to ignore/pretend like you aren't there.

G

OP, my twin sister and I were adopted by our maternal grandmother. She was (and is) and emotionally unstable person who made childhood hard for us. But we still called her mum. I grew up not knowing my birth parents either and when I finally made contact with them when I was 16, mum became very jealous and would say nasty things about them both. She kept saying nasty things until I turned around one day and just told her to shut up. Finding out about your birth parents isn't an easy thing for you to deal with emotionally and your parents shouldn't be going you a hard time ontop of that. I have a fantastic relationship with my birth father. I don't even know my birth mother, and the last time I saw her was nearly two years ago. Chin up, OP. please know that you are not alone. x

not exactly your situation, but I have a bunch of half siblings I didn't grow up with. just because we share DNA doesn't make them feel like the siblings I up with. get a medical history. and shame on your dad for not saying something to his side of the family and shutting them up and shame shame on them.

Props to you for having such a completely wholesome and mature attitude about it. You obviously are smart, healthy and secure. You are an inspiration, and will doubtless lead a good life. Your parents will understand eventually

I too am adopted and understand your questions. My patents have always encouraged me to contact my birth mother, but they have always come along when we gave seen each other, maybe let them see how you enter act so they know its a friendly exchange not a loving one ( so to speak) I think if they see its awkward and nothing like you are with them it would make them feel better. It will also give them the chance to say thanks for allowing them to have you :)