By TaraBURGER - 17/09/2013 07:57 - United States
TaraBURGER tells us more.
My parents still think that I'm trying to replace them. I don't think they understand that this woman is only technically my mother. She isn't my mommy and never could be. I also found out I have a little sister, which is kinda cool. I haven't even told them about her. I'd get booted out of the family tree. I tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just shut me down every time and pulled the whole, "Are we not good enough for you?" bullshit on me. I went on Facebook and found her right away. She's a very nice lady, but I still just call her by her first name. Like I said, she isn't my momma. Also, I saw something on here about the real mom vs. biological mom debate. Personally, I think saying "real mom" is a bit weird. My real mom is the one that changed my diapers, read to me at night, and comforted me when I came home from school crying. I think biological mom is less offensive to adoptive mothers. I have and will never use the term "real mom" to describe my biological mother.
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Your family should be supporting you instead of being ignorant.
If they don't listen when you yet to talk to them - write. If they don't read it hang it on the fridge in increasingly bigger font size. They'll hopefully come around. (Maybe print out some of these comments too if you don't mind explaining where they came from)
Been there, done that & have contact with some of my biological family but it's never the fairy tale reunion you dream of as a kid constantly being told that you'll never be allowed to search. Until I was 25 my adoptive mother had the power to say no to any chance of me finding my birth family. Then the laws changed & she had to accept it. It helped that I never got to meet my birth mother before she died.
Wow that sucks
My boyfriend is adopted and it seems like his adoptive parents don't want his biological dad around. With what little his parents told him about his biological family, I decided to search for them and I found them on Facebook. His biological family was so thankful that I reunited them. He could not have an contact with them due to the adoption plan he was on that said they couldn't contact him till he was 18. I've heard the adoptive parents say that he is "their son". Yet they really don't treat him like one. They use the money they get from him on vacations, material things and their grandson. You'd think they give "their son" money so he can get his license, get clothes, etc.
I don't think your mom crying because of being replaced she afraid of losing her baby girl
I'm not adopted, however my parents split and remarried when I was only 1 and I have 3 half siblings. I understand what you mean and agree about the term real mom. "My step mom" to me is just as much my mom as my biological mother. She raised me as her own since I was 1 year old and I never knew different. Good attitude and outlook op.
I'm adopted on my daddy's side and I am /always/ curious about my biological father. He ram away from the situation because he didn't think he was mature enough to handle having a kid at 18. My daddy's family gets moody when they learn that I want some contact with him. I will never understand it. If you have never been in that situation then you can't say whether you would do one thing or another. When I found out, I wanted contact right away though I never thought I would Tl;Dr: OP did nothing wrong here and it makes sense to want to meet someone you are blood related to, even if they never took care of you a day of your life. Because they are part of the reason you are alive.
Can anyone explain me why I'm buried while all the following comments saying the exact same thing got thumbed up ???
Fear makes people crazy. Sorry you're bearing the brunt of it.
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Just ignore it, OP. They'll stop being touchy when they see that you can love them AND at least know your birth mother.
good for you. you should have that right. screw what everyone else thinks