By TaraBURGER - 17/09/2013 07:57 - United States

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 367
You deserved it 4 340

TaraBURGER tells us more.

TaraBURGER 18

My parents still think that I'm trying to replace them. I don't think they understand that this woman is only technically my mother. She isn't my mommy and never could be. I also found out I have a little sister, which is kinda cool. I haven't even told them about her. I'd get booted out of the family tree. I tried to talk to my parents about it, but they just shut me down every time and pulled the whole, "Are we not good enough for you?" bullshit on me. I went on Facebook and found her right away. She's a very nice lady, but I still just call her by her first name. Like I said, she isn't my momma. Also, I saw something on here about the real mom vs. biological mom debate. Personally, I think saying "real mom" is a bit weird. My real mom is the one that changed my diapers, read to me at night, and comforted me when I came home from school crying. I think biological mom is less offensive to adoptive mothers. I have and will never use the term "real mom" to describe my biological mother.

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Top comments

ygdrassil 17

Just ignore it, OP. They'll stop being touchy when they see that you can love them AND at least know your birth mother.

478 8
The_9th_Doctor 18

good for you. you should have that right. screw what everyone else thinks

341 3

Comments

daemonsparta 16

did you tell them about it before doing it? sometimes daily can feel like you did it behind their back and that's hurtful

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rinzlerkitty94 31

They are the ones being bitches. There is nothing wrong with wanting to meet your birth mother. I was adopted, so I know the feeling.

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MitchRapp 20

I know it has been a while since this was posted. I am sorry for your tough time. I hope all sides of your family have come to terms with you wanting to learn more about your birth mom and family. That is perfectly normal for anyone in your situation.

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debster592 9

I too am an adoptee in reunion. First off, congratulations on reuniting! I was found by one of my older sisters (although I had met another younger sister about 15 years earlier, we weren't at that time able to confirm we were sisters). I also found both birth parents but up until recently has no relationship with either one (my mother and I have since reunited as a result of bonding over my younger sister passing away). my adoptive parents (Mom and Dad..) were always supportive as well as one of my adoptive sisters....the eldest adoptive sister has always had a certain amount of jealousy over how close Dad and I always were) Hang in there, hopefully they will understand you have you room in your heart for all. The worst part of adoption is the loss of identity to the child (funny how we are still referred to as a child when we talk about adoption). Best of luck not only in the new found relationship with your birth mother, but in your parents acceptance of her existence. if it were not for her,they never would have had you as theirs.

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Dreamer5393 21

I know it's been awhile since this was posted so I'm hoping things have gotten better. Speaking as a birth mom and having gone through 2 adoptions luckily with the same family I got 2 know the adoptive parents very well and I got lucky in my situation because it's open and I'm good friends with the family. With getting to know them I got to learn about their fears and understand what they go through and why some do have closed adoptions. Even though you're a grown adult I'm sure they will always fear losing you to your birth parents and that you don't love them the same. Adoptions come with fear and some families have trouble handling it and showing it in bad ways. As long as you keep reassuring them that you still love them and that they aren't being replaced hopefully they'll calm down about it. If you ever need anyone to talk to about it feel free to message me.

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