Intimacy: Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had...

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 152

You deserved it 16 380

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Same thing different taste

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 017

You deserved it 5 842

Well hello there…

By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 514

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 806

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 761

You deserved it 2 594

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 136

You deserved it 1 458

By Jes_jes18 - 02/05/2013 18:27 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 972

You deserved it 7 692

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 808

You deserved it 3 540

By At least she knows I floss - 25/08/2017 14:15 - United States - Pomona

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 5 319

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 795

By the girlfriend - 26/08/2011 10:41 - United Kingdom

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 081

You deserved it 4 168

lahp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:16

that blows..... :D

CrazyWill 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:08

Ouch. Probably not the best way to meet her.

Comments

razorp 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:54

he's going to dump you

mulisha52 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 20:57

snikerdoodles... ur so hot!

luke666 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:00

HAHAHA thts the funniest thing I've heard all day...

davidhasmorefun 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:02

so you didn't spit it out to say hi?

CrazyZenlike 2

Wednesday 27 January 2010 11:57

Ok, that was hilarious 26 lmao

kidcucumber 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:08

hahahaahahahahaa givin head ftw

kev9082 8

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:12

fail.

zombieboy_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:17

Did she tell you that you were doing it wrong?

CallMeHush 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:19

She must have been impressed that you didn't try to talk while your mouth was full.

BeforeTheStorm 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:24

ohhhhh my god. hahah that sucks.

LemonStarship 5

Wednesday 13 January 2010 21:26

Hahahahahahaaha that's so freaking hilarious. Makes me wish that my gf was here...

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Today, my fiancé and I toured our dream home. I was so excited about it that I posted all kinds of pictures of it on Facebook. My boss's daughter just called and said she loved my pictures so much that she made an offer on the house. We were one week away from making an offer. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 26 705

You deserved it 2 872

Today, just to have a chance of a future career, I had to major in Data Science. Here's to 2.5 more years of soul-crushing tedium and passionless abstraction. If I had the resources to control my own life, I would have been a tradesman so I wouldn't have to sacrifice 4 years of my life on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 331

Today, I had a plaster cast removed from my arm. After telling the nurse it felt like the saw was cutting my skin, she tells me there is no way that it could touch my skin and that I was being paranoid. She cracked open the cast. Burns, blisters and bleeding skin were revealed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 515

You deserved it 2 871

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 927

You deserved it 32 605

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 142

You deserved it 3 690

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 383

You deserved it 8 107