Intimacy: Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with...

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 162

You deserved it 20 925

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Same thing different taste

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 153

You deserved it 14 889

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 954

You deserved it 21 342

By zzarzzur - 22/05/2015 06:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 952

You deserved it 4 328

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 715

You deserved it 27 260

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 898

You deserved it 4 042

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 432

You deserved it 4 172

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 510

You deserved it 34 894

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 419

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 591

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 502

You deserved it 13 208

kirbydumas 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 19:22

Well thanks OP. Now none of us can drink milk without thinking about that too.

mpkpm 19

Tuesday 6 May 2014 19:23

Seems like you were a bit too thirsty..

Comments

mld4657 28

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:14

so glad I'm lactose intolerant at this point in my life... and that was just making me want to barf...

mrmaddman 9

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:17

Brahahaha!!!!

Jesus_Senpai 6

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:18

Well craiglist isn't a reliable source bud. But i'm glad you were a decent individual by not declining the sex with chewbacca's sister Pffffft aka the ****** that talks.

yumyumbiscuits 14

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:34

What's wrong with her being over weight. Boys always want more?

magiczebra 9

Tuesday 6 May 2014 23:34

When did he ever say anything bad about her being overweight? If you mean why did he mention that she's overweight, overweight people are commonly referred to as cows (the expression "that fat cow"), and she told him to milk her like a cow, so mentioning her weight does bring relevant info to the FML. He's not intending to be rude.

jmfreee 16

Wednesday 7 May 2014 1:48

^^ All of that, plus, boys do not always want more. I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a question, but still. The new fad where big girls tell skinny girls "only dogs like bones" has gotten really annoying really quickly.

scubanick 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:36

KCCO

badluckbayan 16

Tuesday 6 May 2014 22:58

milk...ugh

MisUnFortunate 31

Wednesday 7 May 2014 2:04

MY MILK FIC BRINGS ALL THE GIRLS TO THE NET

phantom55_fml 7

Tuesday 6 May 2014 23:23

at least ya have funs...dont insult her being overweight .plus you know you a chubby chaser because if you wasnt one then you would of gave her the D bro... there nothing wrong with getting it on with a chubby...