Intimacy: Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with...

By chumman - 06/05/2014 13:55 - United States - New York

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 168

You deserved it 20 929

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Same thing different taste

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 161

You deserved it 14 892

Milkmaid

By Heifer - 16/05/2009 21:41 - United States

Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 21 343

By zzarzzur - 22/05/2015 06:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 956

You deserved it 4 328

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 721

You deserved it 27 263

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 905

You deserved it 4 045

By Anonymous - 30/07/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 435

You deserved it 4 172

By showerpower - 21/01/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 514

You deserved it 34 897

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 296

You deserved it 6 421

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 874

You deserved it 596

By moo... - 18/05/2013 02:59

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 505

You deserved it 13 209

kirbydumas 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 19:22

Well thanks OP. Now none of us can drink milk without thinking about that too.

mpkpm 19

Tuesday 6 May 2014 19:23

Seems like you were a bit too thirsty..

Comments

ribbons 23

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:05

Maybe she felt OP was hung like a bull and felt the 'cow' mood coming over her? I'll think of it like that... Good for you, OP! :D

vietmanx 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:06

This just made my day ^___^

dabomb0513 10

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:11

Them big girls are kinky man.

pesukarchu 11

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:18

I'm just wondering whether you were able to finish after that...

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:26

No. They both rushed off to McDonalds for the Angus Burger.

Polynomial 28

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:27

Her sister heard everything.http://m.fmylife.com/intimacy/20991588?comments=1

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:33

I am so glad I don't like milk

Fuzy2K 7

Tuesday 6 May 2014 20:35

Better than "stuff me like a turkey". :P

JD1147 27

Wednesday 7 May 2014 1:30

I was thinking about this one as well. This could simply be another bullshit FML someone's just made up after reading the "Stuff me like a turkey" one a couple of weeks ago.