Miscellaneous: Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen...

By Becoming a commuter. - 04/09/2012 17:14 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 926

You deserved it 2 114

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Same thing different taste

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 2 837

By Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 683

You deserved it 954

Yeet the feet

By SalonGirl - 10/03/2009 11:55 - United States

Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 622

You deserved it 7 286

By obsequiousfannyflapper - 10/02/2013 23:13 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 2 988

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 03:48 - United States

Today, my roommate, who has bipolar disorder and refuses to take his meds, tried to stab me with a kitchen knife because I threw out his moldy cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 187

You deserved it 5 528

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 160

You deserved it 3 658

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 15:46 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 593

You deserved it 2 986

Living the dream

By notyourcleaner - 13/01/2015 11:06 - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 152

You deserved it 2 694

By Grrr - 20/07/2012 07:58 - United States - Salem

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 382

You deserved it 2 079

Drugs are bad

By Mike Capobianco - 22/08/2021 02:01

Today, I came home to to find my roommate spinning on a computer chair, shitting everywhere. He'd taken Peyote. Now the whole place smells of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 85

AKiDNamedJoHn 12

Tuesday 4 September 2012 21:53

You should probably try to get a new roommate haha

Danny0522 8

Tuesday 4 September 2012 21:54

When will I learn to not eat while reading FMLs?

Comments

88vivera 9

Saturday 8 September 2012 20:34

Good luck!

deemoe 5

Sunday 9 September 2012 21:57

At least u no she always have something to eat and won't eat ur snacks haha

knucckles 1

Friday 5 October 2012 19:49

Get a new roomate before your roomate posts on here saying "buried my roomate - fml"

cantWin19 8

Thursday 18 October 2012 22:59

Pack up and go!

jmchizuk 2

Wednesday 10 April 2013 17:13

OP here! My first year of college is drawing to a close. Clearly I didn't choose to live with her, and I didn't have the option of switching rooms. So I gave it my best, and this is what I discovered: On top of the lovely attributes mentioned above, I also learned that her hair also falls out in nasty clumps with pieces of scalp attached because of her poor diet, she only showers a couple times a week, her stomach is constantly making a sound like she's about to vomit, and she also picks at whatever's on her feet in front of people... and eats that, too. And I did get to find out what happens when she forgets her meds. It isn't fun. I could go on and on. The best part? She has zero social skills, and thinks this is all acceptable behavior. I moved back home at winter break and have been commuting since.

ChoolyBooly 32

Thursday 26 February 2015 4:39

Now all she needs is a chronic farting problem and calepto tendencies and you officially have the worst possible roommate ever. lol I agree with your name and that becoming a commuter would probably be in your best interests. Good luck OP!