Animals: Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat....

By RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 178

You deserved it 5 660

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Same thing different taste

Spooking cats

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 563

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 592

You deserved it 4 596

By tannarox - 28/01/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 793

You deserved it 2 562

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 262

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 506

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 495

You deserved it 6 437

Follow the yellow brown road

By cat_lady - 05/04/2020 17:00

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 521

You deserved it 327

By jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck - 09/06/2014 21:45 - France - Toulon

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 942

You deserved it 9 481

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 293

You deserved it 3 688

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 178

ChasinParkedCars 0

Friday 3 July 2009 23:01

Nothing like pleasuring your pussy.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 3 July 2009 23:03

What is it with animals, their rectums and this site? Time to break out the awkward turtle.

Comments

hawt_leah_foshiz 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:22

LMFAO. I agree with one and three. So hilarious but I'm glad your cat is O.K!!

bornkiller66 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:29

a horny cat.......

ericasthename 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:32

hahaha. omg. I had to do this with my dog, but instead it was a bologna string. You know the red one that wraps around the meat. aha

Venged_Kitty 1

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:35

My cats have one the same.

indian_goddess 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 23:34

same but with a shoelace. he was a puppy then and so freaked out!

tigerarmy_13 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:36

really all the animal stories here are weird...but #1 really does deserve best comment! hillarious!

FML_Add1cT 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:43

Lmfao #1!!!

brunoisbeast 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:46

Lovely

MissxKim 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:47

lmao #1

Twin_Uzis 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:49

Something similar happened with my cat, except I had to pull the string out of his throat. Less purring, and more biting and clawing.

epic_delight1337 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 0:50

my god, some of you guys overreact. While cats sometimes purr when theyre in pain, they also purr when they like something. Like when they get pet. So you never know what it was for this one so stop hoping for the worst and just laugh. if it was in pain it probably would have hissed and scratched.