Animals: Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat....

By RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 174

You deserved it 5 658

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Same thing different taste

Spooking cats

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 561

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

By tannarox - 28/01/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 791

You deserved it 2 561

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 260

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 506

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 6 436

Follow the yellow brown road

By cat_lady - 05/04/2020 17:00

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 327

By jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck - 09/06/2014 21:45 - France - Toulon

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 939

You deserved it 9 479

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 288

You deserved it 3 688

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

ChasinParkedCars 0

Friday 3 July 2009 23:01

Nothing like pleasuring your pussy.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 3 July 2009 23:03

What is it with animals, their rectums and this site? Time to break out the awkward turtle.

Comments

Qup 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 6:50

seriously, could have killed him. you gotta watch that stuff. I'm glad he didn't need an expensive trip to the vet.

LaurentL 26

Saturday 4 July 2009 7:45

why are u pleasing your cat?!?!?!

frozenpandaman 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 7:54

one of the best ones on here. LMFAO, especially at #1

Newtrier 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:00

haha that made my top 15 FMLs

Shyman4ever 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:06

I don't get it why do some people say that cats have to be taken to the vet after having loads of plastic coming out of there ass. It's like being ****** in the ass. Why can humans be ****** in the ass and cats can't??? We are both mamals for Christ sake. #1 your comment was priceless. OP FYL. I hope the cat had fun.

kaykay10xo 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:51

haaaaa

mjsmclaren 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 9:03

You gave ur cat anal stimulation...u liked it too, don't lie

Jaguaress 2

Saturday 4 July 2009 9:46

You should take your cat to the vet asap and explain what happened. Pulling it out of your cat could've caused internal problems that haven't shown yet, and your cat is lucky to be alive. As others have said, cats purr to soothe themselves, and your cat was in pain while you did that. Please get your cat vet attention immediately, and possibly think about giving your cat to someone more responsible as an owner.

shazzahllala 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 11:38

"family cat" sounds weird to me :-/

mijzelffan 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 12:20

'the purring is not so bad, some cats purr when they don't like something. I had a cat who purred when she had to be bathed and purred when she had kittens.