Animals: Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat....

By RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 174

You deserved it 5 658

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Same thing different taste

Spooking cats

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 561

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

By tannarox - 28/01/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 791

You deserved it 2 561

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 260

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 506

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 6 436

Follow the yellow brown road

By cat_lady - 05/04/2020 17:00

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 327

By jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck - 09/06/2014 21:45 - France - Toulon

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 939

You deserved it 9 479

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 288

You deserved it 3 688

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

ChasinParkedCars 0

Friday 3 July 2009 23:01

Nothing like pleasuring your pussy.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 3 July 2009 23:03

What is it with animals, their rectums and this site? Time to break out the awkward turtle.

Comments

Kligmaniac 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:01

Um, he was purring because he was happy and relieved you were getting it out.

miaumiau 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:15

cats don't automatically hiss and scratch when they are in pain. when they are pissed, that is a different story. in this situation which do you think is more likely? the cat just loved it so much it needed purr? or the poor thing was uncomfortable? last i checked getting scratched on the ear doesn't feel the same as having 3 feet of plastic being pulled out of your ass.

Cittenscollar 0

Sunday 5 July 2009 21:10

You're an idiot.

Glam_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:02

I feel for you OP. I have had to do similar things for my cat and dogs. Anytime you have to pull something out of an ass is a FML moment.

DarthJeff 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:04

Anal beads for kitties!

deadboy73 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:14

hopefully you were masturbating while you were doing it, if not your cat might feel akward

indisentproposal 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 13:57

my exact thoughts!

kira1kira 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 1:48

a purr can mean discomfort also

lilyy_luver 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:13

ewie.

HeyItsWill12 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:21

LOL at the FML and repeated comments.. and at #1.. Genius.

jet_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:36

I laughed. This has happened to my cat before, so I understand your pain.

chickitychina 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:40

i couldnt help but laugh at this one! haha poor you though! i know my cat has let out some nasty farts before...i can only imagine what her butt smells like haha

afmanslady 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 2:50

haha..my cat likes to eat the fake christmas tree. she's always puking up green pieces of plastic. i'm really sorry you had to pull that string from it's booty.