Animals: Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat....

By RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 174

You deserved it 5 658

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Same thing different taste

Spooking cats

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 561

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

By tannarox - 28/01/2012 15:46 - United States

Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 791

You deserved it 2 561

Poor little guy

By Almost neutered - 28/11/2022 00:00

Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 260

By Dog Person Now - 31/05/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 506

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 492

You deserved it 6 436

Follow the yellow brown road

By cat_lady - 05/04/2020 17:00

Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 327

By jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck - 09/06/2014 21:45 - France - Toulon

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 939

You deserved it 9 478

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 06:17 - United States - Oakland

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 288

You deserved it 3 688

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

ChasinParkedCars 0

Friday 3 July 2009 23:01

Nothing like pleasuring your pussy.

redbluegreen 40

Friday 3 July 2009 23:03

What is it with animals, their rectums and this site? Time to break out the awkward turtle.

Comments

danielbudzynski 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:05

#1 OWNS, end of conversation

paisley_fml 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 18:42

>.> y would ur cat go for plastic???

achinaadoll 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:21

honestly, this wasn't funny to me. it's sad. like everyone said, you're lucky your cat didn't die. cats purr when they're content, yes. but they also purr when they're in pain or when they're scared.

Darling_Cherry 5

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:26

you better run your cat to the vet, you've probably caused it a lot of internal damage by ripping something out of its intestines...cats purr when they're in pain. douchebag.

WTFIWWP 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:38

It could have been a nervous purr versus an enjoyment one. They can purr when they are uncomfortable. Like the person above said, take them to the vet, you could have done damage.

ariadelle 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:53

The truly sad part is...earlier today I also noticed my cat had some string like thing sticking out of her rectum...I just am too much of a wimp to address it. although it just looks like part of her toy....I don't think it's quite 3 feet. o_o

Miss_Mar 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 3:54

ew.. aha

crazy_cat_lady24 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 14:03

PLEASE get her to a vet ASAP. She might die if you don't do something. Don't try to pull it out yourself, get her to a vet immediately. If her intestines burst, she's done for... : (

onholiday6 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:00

Hey smart one, you're not supposed to pull stuff out of a cat's mouth and ESPECIALLY not out of its ass. You probably just killed the poor thing. When it digests string or tinsel or something of that nature, the string gets attached to the inside of the cat's intestines. If you pull it out, not only are you ripping out the string, but you're ripping out the intestinal lining. YDI for not knowing how to take care of your pet.