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By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 02:58 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 306

You deserved it 4 025

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By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 377

You deserved it 275

By Celewyn - 04/10/2016 11:11 - Australia

Today, my patient knocked my glasses off as I assisted him in the shower. We both looked in terror as they fell into his unflushed toilet. This patient was isolated due to a contagious infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 092

You deserved it 1 032

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 279

You deserved it 3 446

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 894

You deserved it 2 795

By ANON - 21/09/2016 14:09 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I visited my Aunt in hospital. Another patient got jealous, so she threw a tantrum. She threw things at us, pulled her drip out, threw herself to the floor, screamed, pounded the floor with her fists and pissed herself. My aunt is still waiting for a new room, and the staff blame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 782

A saint

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 20:07

Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 653

You deserved it 215

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 3 283

Just a prank, son!

By barface - 11/01/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh, apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 865

You deserved it 2 815

No, not now!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Estonia - Tartu

Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 809

You deserved it 1 048

Next

Top comments

masturdad 11

Monday 5 May 2014 10:09

The fact he needs a bedpan shows that he's too old to grope anything

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 5 May 2014 10:09

he wants his action and wants it now dammit!

Comments

snippit 18

Tuesday 6 May 2014 13:41

How can people even say YDI In what way would one deserve that for saying that :/

SuperStormCindy 8

Wednesday 7 May 2014 20:13

Aha. FYL, OP. I understand how frustrating and inappropriate the elderly can be.

Huddisher 10

Thursday 8 May 2014 6:01

HAHA.

CanadianBaconEH 14

Saturday 10 May 2014 7:48

I bet you were *pissed* off...(pun intended)

rocknawesome 8

Tuesday 13 May 2014 2:58

When I first read this, I thought it said "my elderly grandfather". Either way it's still bad. Sorry OP

CallMeBloo 31

Wednesday 14 May 2014 2:55

Ugh, I'm sorry that happened! I've been a caretaker and I know that sometimes, to put it bluntly, "shit's gonna get real." Keep at it. Tomorrow's another day!

Lone_Wolfie 0

Thursday 22 May 2014 3:55

Its really funny they don't show that on these daytime medical school colleges hmmm

HeisenburgLabs 15

Sunday 3 April 2016 7:42

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

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Today, I went to gather the laundry out of the dryer. My daughter had seen my wife put bleach in the washer, so she decided that honey in the dryer would make the clothes smell sweet. She wasn't wrong, but now I have a giant ball of sticky socks and underwear. FML

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You deserved it 2 834

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I agree, your life sucks 120

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Today, I realized I forgot to write a 5000 word essay for my English class. I tried to be calm since I had until midnight to finish, and it was only 8pm. I typed for three hours straight,and finished the assignment. I read over the instruction again, and realized it only had to be 500 words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 539

You deserved it 57 318

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 151

You deserved it 26 215

Today, I thought a cute and well-dressed guy, with a mask matching his shoes, was taking a picture of me. Flattered, I approached him. Turns out, he was playing Pokémon Go and was just trying to catch a “Geodude.” He also blurted out that he was gay. He's into dudes and Geodudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 622

Today, I received a letter telling me I'm not qualified for a job I've been unofficially doing for the last three years. It's the fourth letter I've gotten since applying. I guess it wouldn't be too bad if I didn't have to train the new person who got the job instead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 042

You deserved it 998

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 336

You deserved it 9 208

Today, the serpentine belt broke on my truck a mile away from work, 30 minutes before I needed to be there. This caused me to be 45 minutes late. I got written up for being late. The tow truck then took my truck to the wrong mechanic shop. Now I have to pay another tow truck bill to get it to the right shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 136