Animals: Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying...

By Barney - 18/06/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 853

You deserved it 9 160

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Same thing different taste

Remodeling

By Spelit - 13/08/2010 19:45 - United States

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 015

You deserved it 13 620

By Ed - 05/12/2010 13:53 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 656

You deserved it 11 081

Thanks, I hate it

By I'm Trading Up For A Dog - 14/12/2014 20:28 - Finland - Pori

Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 675

You deserved it 6 244

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 004

You deserved it 2 499

By ositsranielle - 13/02/2010 17:32 - United States

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 233

You deserved it 8 203

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 319

You deserved it 8 365

Funtime!

By kengu - 23/10/2011 21:02 - Norway

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 7 132

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 300

Parenting fail

By Anonymous - 21/01/2020 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I left the living room for 3 minutes to make a coffee. When I went back, my 4-year old had found a permanent marker, God knows where, since I don't own a permanent marker. She'd then drawn on her face, the carpet, wall, sofa, both dogs and as an added bonus the TV screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 547

Roommates from hell

By HGTV - 01/10/2013 18:43 - United States - Boston

Today, I got home to the smell of permanent marker and the discovery that my roommate's little sister had drawn flower petals around every polka dot she could reach on my walls. I just put up the wallpaper last weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 872

You deserved it 4 116

unrose 1

Saturday 18 June 2011 23:23

at least cats have cute paws.

sex_and_drugs 11

Saturday 18 June 2011 23:22

ha win

Comments

Xotoolyxo 16

Sunday 19 June 2011 3:36

more decoration to go around..(:

djlolo1129 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:15

barney!!!! yay

Pinkanani 12

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:36

YDI for the whole Barney thing, however, gue-be-gone cleans that (and anything) right up.

nateiztite 5

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:36

blues clues:D but uh purple instead

imnotcraZ 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:54

cool why is this an FML? this is more of a cat prodigy!

User1518 6

Sunday 19 June 2011 4:58

Now what's wrong with alittle purple? :)

Yostdewit 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:22

Your comment :cute

Ace1991 2

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:24

paint thinner will get it out

Dcmachead 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:27

Reason 9,976,275 that Barney the Purple Dinosaur must die!

veryhighsleepygu 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:31

that would be kinda badass

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 786

You deserved it 5 805

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 101

The Top

Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 127

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 102

You deserved it 13 429

Today, and since forever, I hate vegetables. I’ve been in Argentina for a few days for a one year exchange and I’ve been placed into a vegetarian family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 257

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 961

You deserved it 13 378

Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 366

You deserved it 7 898

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 133