Miscellaneous: Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to...

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 21:42 - Canada

Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 843

You deserved it 32 937

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 075

You deserved it 33 446

By imsorrytimmy - 02/04/2009 15:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 953

You deserved it 114 240

By cole66 - 29/11/2015 18:43 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 3 172

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:59 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 406

You deserved it 6 754

By Anonymous - 10/12/2015 13:27 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 939

You deserved it 2 484

By Anonymous - 17/01/2018 18:30 - United States - Papillion

Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my 10-year-old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 537

You deserved it 7 392

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 12:43 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 920

You deserved it 1 588

By Spawn_of_Satan - 27/03/2009 15:18 - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 130

You deserved it 7 427

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 526

You deserved it 64 338

By Jake - 01/07/2009 12:28 - Australia

Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 956

You deserved it 6 505

caled123 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:58

who cares? its not hard to say 'that was my brother' and noone will take it seriously...

FMY_FYL 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:59

Your secret's out.

Comments

Maxbigwood 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 6:47

Kick his ass

Verenek 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 5:31

hehemy bro is too stupid to think of that. FYL for having a smart + vengefull brother.

bigotcretin 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 3:36

YDI stupid bitch, just like my sister.

joemk2012 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 3:42

How the hell do you get sailors to go down your throat so smoothly?

SickSickSick7511 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 0:06

I threw up in my mouth after I read the last sentence.

fuzz97 23

Thursday 15 April 2010 5:30

omg u got pwned lolz

cutiehoney 0

Tuesday 1 June 2010 16:19

lmao

Lady_Bow 4

Wednesday 14 July 2010 8:43

I don't know if you're a guy or a girl, but either way that made me laugh really hard. That's gotta suck trying to explain that later...

pittmonster 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 0:48

how does your brother know what it's like?

skelator 3

Saturday 9 July 2011 10:45

First time I laughed today!

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I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 22

Today, I called out "for personal reasons" from work because I had to study for a major test that's taking place tomorrow. An hour later, my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously." I then got an email telling me that the test was being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 4 092

The Top

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly, I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 4 387

Today, my old company merged with a new one. I was calling our old clients, and ended up speaking with a reporter who was investigating our company for fraud. I now have a meeting with the CEO tomorrow morning. I just started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 129

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 781

You deserved it 7 593

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 587

You deserved it 7 937

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 229

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 588

You deserved it 6 697

Same thing different taste

Pissed

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