Love: Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper... - FML

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 509

You deserved it 35 158

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 2 545

By Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 62 310

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Spicy

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 204

Ewwwwww

By Faluna - 17/02/2011 21:27 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 341

You deserved it 4 223

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 601

You deserved it 2 811

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 16:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 37 130

By Sal - 09/02/2009 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 756

You deserved it 5 273

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By peridot1aa - 24/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 617

You deserved it 228

Next

Top comments

moronslayer 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:46

if you're rich enough for a house keeper you're rich enough for a prostitute

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:05

Why are you trying to impress the housekeeper? She isn't going to give you any play. What did you do with the rest of it? Swallow?

Comments

cieredo 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:15

wow. trying to impress a housekeeper...that's sad.

BrownSugar_fml 5

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:22

@26: I'm sure one would wear gloves whilst scooping up a used condom... And this is not an FML

aback 4

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:40

That's excellent. XD

fallen_dragonkin 12

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:42

that's sad being so lonely. i'd date you if you didn't live so far away.

dangletsbang21 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:59

interesting, that's kinda pathetic. first off the housekeeper probably doesn't care, but when she finds that wrapper she's gonna be disgusted not like," oh champ" so what was the point of that. you should just go out and make a difference in your life then to go and fake something

WTFsGoingOn 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 6:15

The housekeeper in Two and a Half Men would totally react that way :)

danii_s2 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:06

hahaha. loves it.

dante0220 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:18

sucks

nofxroxx341 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:25

yeah FYL lol, that really sucks though!

Malinkrot 3

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:50

So you are a creepy older single guy who cares too much about what his housekeeper thinks...

AlaskaRaven 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 14:32

No, I vote younger, insecure about his looks and lack of confidence guy. Older creepy guys are too busy pretending to be 14 yr old girls on Facebook to come here and cry around about pretend love-lives. anyone??

MotherRussia 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:39

YDI for being GAY. (why else wouldn't he have ordered a hooker?)

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The Top

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 228

You deserved it 7 532

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 981

You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 917

You deserved it 4 310

Today, during an exam, the guy next to me tried to cheat by looking at my test but was caught by the proctor. His defense was that no one would ever cheat off me. The proctor agreed and allowed him to finish the test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 551

You deserved it 6 290

Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 675

You deserved it 6 378

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 712

You deserved it 3 735

Today, I was doing a sewing project in class. My friend said we should get the teachers to model our designs. I said that I did not think I would have enough material to make clothes for one of the teachers. I said this in front of the whole class very loudly, while the teacher was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 2 420

Today, I was driving out to a concert I've been excited about for months. I was using my GPS to guide me to the venue. It decided to guide me to an abandoned warehouse in the middle of town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 531

You deserved it 3 615