Love: Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper... - FML

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By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 514

You deserved it 35 174

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 456

You deserved it 42 577

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 813

You deserved it 2 547

By Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon

Spicy

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 543

You deserved it 62 324

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Spicy

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 207

Ewwwwww

By Faluna - 17/02/2011 21:27 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 354

You deserved it 4 223

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 2 815

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 16:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 247

You deserved it 37 158

By Sal - 09/02/2009 18:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 798

You deserved it 5 289

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 3 380

By peridot1aa - 24/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 621

You deserved it 233

Next

Top comments

moronslayer 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:46

if you're rich enough for a house keeper you're rich enough for a prostitute

CallMeHush 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 20:05

Why are you trying to impress the housekeeper? She isn't going to give you any play. What did you do with the rest of it? Swallow?

Comments

cieredo 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:15

wow. trying to impress a housekeeper...that's sad.

BrownSugar_fml 5

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:22

@26: I'm sure one would wear gloves whilst scooping up a used condom... And this is not an FML

aback 4

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:40

That's excellent. XD

fallen_dragonkin 12

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:42

that's sad being so lonely. i'd date you if you didn't live so far away.

dangletsbang21 0

Tuesday 5 January 2010 23:59

interesting, that's kinda pathetic. first off the housekeeper probably doesn't care, but when she finds that wrapper she's gonna be disgusted not like," oh champ" so what was the point of that. you should just go out and make a difference in your life then to go and fake something

WTFsGoingOn 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 6:15

The housekeeper in Two and a Half Men would totally react that way :)

danii_s2 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:06

hahaha. loves it.

dante0220 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:18

sucks

nofxroxx341 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:25

yeah FYL lol, that really sucks though!

Malinkrot 3

Wednesday 6 January 2010 0:50

So you are a creepy older single guy who cares too much about what his housekeeper thinks...

AlaskaRaven 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 14:32

No, I vote younger, insecure about his looks and lack of confidence guy. Older creepy guys are too busy pretending to be 14 yr old girls on Facebook to come here and cry around about pretend love-lives. anyone??

MotherRussia 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:39

YDI for being GAY. (why else wouldn't he have ordered a hooker?)

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