Animals: Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the...

By bobo - 24/04/2011 01:02 - Canada

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 52 959

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Same thing different taste

By sudoku_fiend - 13/12/2015 04:40 - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 681

You deserved it 5 825

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 894

You deserved it 47 627

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 4 360

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 725

If I fits, I sits

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 14:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was so into my game that I didn't notice my senior-aged cat had emptied his cat bladder onto my leg until I took off my headphones and he jumped off me to go chew on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 844

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Check your feeds!

By Captain Oops-a-Lot - 03/11/2023 00:02

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 576

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 449

You deserved it 11 656

fishboy112 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:06

wow... no life

uncbballwins 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:20

Do germs carry chainsaws?

Comments

MikieLem 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 17:31

game freak!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Sunday 24 April 2011 17:34

At least it would have been funny if you said "SHIT" while playing!!

emagenasian 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:00

lol too funny, I can see myself doing that though :D

fallon616 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:43

what a jerk lololol

kaylala33 1

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:51

Haha well angry birds is pretty addicting...

little_monster21 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:59

I love that game!

mrd10 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:30

wtf meson

CommanderNutterB 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:32

dude seriously??? Who goes into a public bathroom and plays iPhone games? Dude you need friends.

dearing94 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:58

Thats freaking awesome. Im on my phone a lot, and forget Im on the toilet too. :)

denvan 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:17

Angry Burds FTW

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 104

The Top

Today, in a misguided attempt to earn my asshole dad's approval I went to university to get my business degree and took over the family restaurant. Now I have all the stress of managing the restaurant, he has retired and is moving abroad. Oh, and he still isn’t proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 293

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 964

You deserved it 13 842

Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 5 860

Today, my family was going to go out on a boat to celebrate Independence Day. We agreed we'd be at the marina by 11:45 AM. It's currently 1:45 PM and half of the family is still asleep while two are nursing hangovers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 201

You deserved it 489

Today, two days after sending her flowers for Valentine's Day, my dream girl asked me on a date. She didn't show up. Her boyfriend did though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 264

You deserved it 10 793

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 633

You deserved it 8 159

Same thing different taste

If I fits, I sits

Check your feeds!

Sneaky

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