Animals: Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the...

By bobo - 24/04/2011 01:02 - Canada

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 52 959

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Same thing different taste

By sudoku_fiend - 13/12/2015 04:40 - United States - Millville

Today, I discovered that I've spent so much time playing Sudoku in the bathroom at work that I've trained myself to need to pee whenever I open the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 681

You deserved it 5 825

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 21:56 - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 894

You deserved it 47 627

By shittysongs - 07/03/2013 02:39 - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 7 111

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 4 360

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 3 725

If I fits, I sits

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 14:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was so into my game that I didn't notice my senior-aged cat had emptied his cat bladder onto my leg until I took off my headphones and he jumped off me to go chew on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 844

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

Check your feeds!

By Captain Oops-a-Lot - 03/11/2023 00:02

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I mistakenly took a screenshot and then proceeded to fumble my phone. It wasn't until 5 hours later when I recharged it that I realized I had unintentionally posted the screenshot of me on the toilet to Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 576

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 4 964

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 449

You deserved it 11 656

fishboy112 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:06

wow... no life

uncbballwins 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:20

Do germs carry chainsaws?

Comments

Xmarshall16X 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:48

Sounds like a -shitty- situation. kekekeke

kidcanada 4

Sunday 24 April 2011 22:49

dont you think your partying a BIT to hard for a saturday night..

lbj1217 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 22:58

I don't really believe this,

llZombiell 5

Monday 25 April 2011 0:26

Lol the toilet is the best place to play with your iPod. Where do you think I am right now lol :)

drethereason 0

Monday 25 April 2011 1:50

how do you forget you're sitting on a public toilet! Ewww! that's just wrong

aligirl659 0

Monday 25 April 2011 3:08

haha today me and my cousin had a competion playing angry bird

village_boy 0

Monday 25 April 2011 3:26

look at the good side, you took shit two times at once lol

rizzosierra 0

Monday 25 April 2011 3:38

it's okay, I do that all the time! :)

yourlifesucks24 0

Monday 25 April 2011 4:03

wow dried shii in your butt lol

shanpoo_fml 0

Monday 25 April 2011 4:08

lmao

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 131

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 326

You deserved it 7 122

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 3 238

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 356

You deserved it 2 145

Today, after three days of dating a boy I liked, he came out as gay on his Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 137

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 787

You deserved it 1 731

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 195

You deserved it 3 592

Same thing different taste

If I fits, I sits

Check your feeds!

Sneaky

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