Work: Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been...

By fuck my eyeballs - 01/12/2013 23:07 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 102

You deserved it 22 287

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Same thing different taste

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 885

You deserved it 4 614

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:50 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 716

You deserved it 1 850

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 417

You deserved it 85 267

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 282

You deserved it 2 268

By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 4 237

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 242

Overreach

By VroomVroom - 04/03/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 111

You deserved it 3 508

By Anonymous - 29/06/2016 02:17 - United States - High Springs

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 430

You deserved it 2 767

By shook - 06/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 11 965

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 185

You deserved it 3 550

Welshite 39

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Did she still get out of the ticket? I think we are all wondering that.

sunny013 8

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Be careful what you wish for OP. You just might get it…

Comments

jun00 15

Monday 2 December 2013 3:32

Not only did she eye **** you, she also mind ****** you

winston5 6

Monday 2 December 2013 3:50

You brought that apon your self

katt_is_here 24

Monday 2 December 2013 3:53

Way to live up to the stereotype, pig.

AngelLovesDerby 10

Monday 2 December 2013 3:57

Awe that sucks homie!! :(

Sports_guy3 28

Monday 2 December 2013 4:13

I know how you feel. That's why I stay young, and get those pictures from my girlfriend.

kumarina 35

Monday 2 December 2013 4:18

Sexy grandma strikes again!

walkwithalimp 6

Monday 2 December 2013 4:32

still shows cleavage is leverage no matter what they look like

xOhItsMarleyy 9

Monday 2 December 2013 5:21

She wants the D , not the T.

Livingstone187 2

Monday 2 December 2013 5:21

bad cop, no donut

tukies 28

Monday 2 December 2013 5:23

Well on the bright side they will only get younger from here... Most likely.

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Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

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You deserved it 4 524

Today, someone stole the seat off my bike. Just the seat. What the hell are they going to do with it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 78

The Top

Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 322

You deserved it 266

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 635

You deserved it 83 258

Today, I carried my golf bag from the club house to my car. When I got there, my rear pocket got caught in a zipper on the bag. I couldn't get them separated. I had to take my pants off to fix it. Yes, three couples walked by, pretending not to notice. Had it not happened to me, I would not believe this story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 99

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 319

You deserved it 5 911

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 439

You deserved it 6 358

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 924

You deserved it 1 929

Same thing different taste

Officer McGiggles

Overreach

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