Work: Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been...

By fuck my eyeballs - 01/12/2013 23:07 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 100

You deserved it 22 281

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Same thing different taste

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 4 613

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:50 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 716

You deserved it 1 849

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 415

You deserved it 85 255

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 273

You deserved it 2 265

By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 336

You deserved it 4 235

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 240

Overreach

By VroomVroom - 04/03/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 106

You deserved it 3 506

By Anonymous - 29/06/2016 02:17 - United States - High Springs

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 427

You deserved it 2 763

By shook - 06/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 11 954

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 182

You deserved it 3 543

Welshite 39

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Did she still get out of the ticket? I think we are all wondering that.

sunny013 8

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Be careful what you wish for OP. You just might get it…

Comments

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 2 December 2013 5:35

oink.

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 2 December 2013 5:35

U deserved that!

maggiefox 25

Monday 2 December 2013 5:44

They were only semi deflated? Hahah. Let's be honest here.

adam_tajyar 10

Monday 2 December 2013 6:13

That's prolly a disturbing image you'll never recover from. Haha FYL

lc1989 10

Monday 2 December 2013 6:14

Haha! You sound like one the officers in my office. He's been hoping for the same thing!!!! This funny. Wish I could of been there to see your face!!

myeviltwin 20

Monday 2 December 2013 6:34

Unless she was WAY over the speed limit you should have given her a warning. Someday we will all be old and saggy. She tried right?????

MoellerCrusader 1

Monday 2 December 2013 6:45

Let me just go throw up really quick

Bumblebrea99 14

Monday 2 December 2013 7:21

And I thought seeing my own grandma in a bra was bad...

mstoffel 13

Monday 2 December 2013 7:25

That's hilarious. I wish you better luck next time.

bme1993 7

Monday 2 December 2013 8:55

Well that's what you get for doing something for the wrong reasons.

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The Top

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died" right afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 654

You deserved it 3 693

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 518

The Top

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 094

You deserved it 2 895

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 182

You deserved it 10 587

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 485

You deserved it 1 703

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 077

You deserved it 3 565

Today, my best friend, who I've been in love with for nearly a decade, asked me to help him set up an online dating profile. During our 4-hour conversation, as he waded through the profiles, he complained that it was impossible for him to find a girl to have a meaningful conversation with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 6 695

Today, I have to admit I sometimes snoop in my daughter's room, but she must have realised this because she has started laying booby traps for me. I'm currently in the ER getting fishing hooks removed from my hand after she taped them to a mousetrap and left the mousetrap inside her desk drawer. I deserve it but, FML

I agree, your life sucks 250

You deserved it 2 211

Same thing different taste

Officer McGiggles

Overreach

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