Miscellaneous: Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt....

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 455

You deserved it 17 143

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Same thing different taste

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 673

You deserved it 5 377

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 240

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 316

You deserved it 7 818

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 628

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 238

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 135

Fight! Fight!

By LostInSunday - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 552

You deserved it 2 936

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 911

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 759

You deserved it 7 199

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 942

You deserved it 12 981

boredblonde 17

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:48

definitely worth it, gogurts are the best!

DrOfTheInternet 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:51

Fruit punch?

Comments

Hammer940 7

Monday 31 October 2011 0:53

Ydi for eating gogurt

missyvee 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:54

I have definitely done that.

jewel_blonde211 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:56

OMG IVE DONE THAT BEFORE !!!!!!!!!! ... i mean .... you're smart ........ :P

brianjman14 22

Monday 31 October 2011 0:58

It didn't occur to you to go get scissors if you can't open it?

BrittMcKayla 8

Monday 31 October 2011 0:59

Owned.

rroxie124 5

Monday 31 October 2011 0:59

I do that all the timee.(:

skyeyez9 24

Monday 31 October 2011 1:00

Furiously eating a gogurt.

jeffw1123 4

Monday 31 October 2011 1:06

if your face is hurtin try punching yourself in the stomach to get the pain away from your face

poppylamonzo 0

Monday 31 October 2011 1:07

YDI for being a retard

thewest_fml 0

Monday 31 October 2011 1:09

I've done that waaaaay too many times.....

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 639

You deserved it 20 677

Today, it's been a few weeks since I had my first sexual experience in 6 years following my divorce. It was with a woman I’ve known for years. We get on amazingly, more than me and my ex ever did. She’s sweet, sexy, funny, amazing in bed, and even likes Xbox. Unfortunately she also gave me Scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 188

The Top

Today, the phone rang so I went to answer it. No one was there. A minute later the phone rang again and no one answered so I assumed it was a telemarketer or a prank so I started swearing uncontrollably in rage. Turns out it was my crush calling to ask me out, but she was too nervous to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 297

You deserved it 75 138

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 185

You deserved it 36 015

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 262

You deserved it 2 088

Today, I got a parking ticket for $150. It seems it was issued by my husband, who apparently can't remember license plate numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 035

You deserved it 31 877

Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 157

You deserved it 439

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 981

You deserved it 3 976