Miscellaneous: Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt.... - FML

By yum yogurt - 30/10/2011 20:15 - United States

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 17 141

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Same thing different taste

By GogurtBadass - 18/09/2013 16:55 - United States - Olympia

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 669

You deserved it 5 373

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 239

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 314

You deserved it 7 814

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 626

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 131

By LostInSunday - 15/08/2016 08:11

Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 269

You deserved it 2 805

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 904

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 756

You deserved it 7 197

Night fight

By FistFighter - 09/04/2011 04:01 - United States

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 12 978

Next

Top comments

boredblonde 17

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:48

definitely worth it, gogurts are the best!

DrOfTheInternet 6

Sunday 30 October 2011 23:51

Fruit punch?

Comments

FrostHeart 36

Monday 31 October 2011 0:03

40, you made it sound like someone was jacking their little "tube"

andrew8795 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:03

TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!! wait...

lostintime94 5

Monday 31 October 2011 2:38

Lol! I laughed at this.

lostintime94 5

Monday 31 October 2011 2:38

Lol! I laughed at this.

laurenzoo5 2

Monday 31 October 2011 0:03

love gogurt

enonymous 8

Monday 31 October 2011 0:06

36 you and your friends are into gogurt bukake? I'm diggin it

alex54231 11

Monday 31 October 2011 0:07

hahaha that's happen to me trying to get that last bit of yogurt out. d:

Furytalon 14

Monday 31 October 2011 0:07

Haha don't worry I do it too :(, one time I did it really hard and my nose started bleeding

SiriusBlack97 17

Monday 31 October 2011 0:07

Ouchhh!! I did that once.

zachrulz5 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:10

Youre a hardass.

DDpandaz 0

Monday 31 October 2011 0:11

It's just squeezing a tube...

Jaylan_o 5

Monday 31 October 2011 0:13

Ha. I've done that so many times... just leave the last little bit in the bottom of the pouch, being greedy and trying to wrench it out ALWAYS results in a fist to the face

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 31 October 2011 2:31

Why not just cut the tube open? Why so much violence when everything could be solved with a knife *creepy smile*

Jaylan_o 5

Monday 31 October 2011 3:13

I can only imagine your garbageman's horror when he opens your bins to find dozens of mutilated gogurts :P

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The Top

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, it's been two weeks since my wife started her new job. She got overwhelmed and fell off the wagon on Monday. Instead of going to work, she spent the last week passed out drunk, and she'll probably get fired. We really needed that 100k a year she was going to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 147

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 172

Today, I prominently touched my boobs and put my hand inside my shirt to adjust my bra… all while I had my camera on during a Zoom meeting with the whole department FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 1 709

Today, my son told me he wants to be a cop or enter the military when he grows up. Why? "Cops get paid to kill useless members of society" and "Only the military can stop communism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 301

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 793

You deserved it 1 854

Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 236