Sex and Love: Today, I put on a shirt that said, "Skilled in every position."...

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 05:05 - United States - New Cumberland

Today, I put on a shirt that said, "Skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "Since when?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 138

You deserved it 30 511

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Same thing different taste

By Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 902

You deserved it 4 712

By Violet - 05/04/2014 01:57 - United States - Exeter

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 128

You deserved it 5 963

By awkword - 31/12/2013 17:47 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 025

You deserved it 3 873

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 8 060

By Rachel - 12/02/2016 06:26 - United States - Burton

Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 072

You deserved it 3 756

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 14:18 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 18 878

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 13:58 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 358

You deserved it 6 676

By AnnaNick - 14/02/2010 02:19 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 976

You deserved it 10 361

By whyme - 13/07/2011 05:40 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 666

You deserved it 41 847

By readytomingle - 15/07/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 084

You deserved it 42 401

DocBastard 38

Sunday 18 November 2012 13:49

Wow...you're the very epitome of classy, aren't you?

DocBastard 38

Sunday 18 November 2012 17:29

It's called a double entendre, "bro". It's supposed to sound sexual without being overtly sexual. Get it? And don't call me "bro". I already have two of them, and that's quite enough.

Comments

gh0sthunter 6

Sunday 18 November 2012 19:17

Hoe

ryguy7878 8

Sunday 18 November 2012 19:33

Just do it

vbmg152 18

Sunday 18 November 2012 21:45

Why lie like that?

imabeastmofukka 5

Sunday 18 November 2012 22:54

False advertisement. Do be so pissed.

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:06

Might as well wear "I love anal".

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Monday 19 November 2012 0:21

Or take #1's banana and prove him wrong another way...

moorenita 3

Monday 19 November 2012 1:34

"Every nights im not with you honey" Fyl!

sarahblayke 10

Monday 19 November 2012 2:29

Wearing a shirt like that of course expect that

djgoreo 12

Monday 19 November 2012 4:37

must be ready for hate at all times

narnia_monster5 7

Monday 19 November 2012 5:36

I have that short

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 040

You deserved it 663

Today, I helped my girlfriend pick out a pretty dress for a corporate event. It turns out the first use it was going to see was a date with her side dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 351

You deserved it 391

Today, I feel guilty masturbating to Russian porn on the hub. Then I feel even more guilty because that's just wrong, because people in Ukraine and Russia both have much bigger problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 162

Today, I fell into a hole. And by hole, I mean a sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 527

You deserved it 3 160

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 2 730

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 454

You deserved it 8 860

Same thing different taste

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