Kids: Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made... - FML

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 12:21 - United States

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 797

You deserved it 7 619

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Same thing different taste

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 352

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - 05/01/2010 05:55 - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 408

You deserved it 41 942

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 54 304

Get 'em while they're young

By Smoked. - 20/06/2021 12:59 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I got a citation from school. My 10-year-old son was caught smoking cigarettes during recess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 218

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 802

You deserved it 5 269

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 1 215

By hypercrite dad - 19/09/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 146

You deserved it 15 543

By Hopslammer - 17/06/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 49 060

Next

Top comments

jwebster 8

Wednesday 21 March 2012 18:46

This means that it will forever look just like the day he brought it home. Never tarnished with ashes. In a few months he will be bragging to his friends about it.

loserman67 35

Wednesday 21 March 2012 18:46

To which I hope you said, "Thank you very much, it's lovely." And then used it for a candy dish. Don't break the little buggers heart because you finally gave up a bad habit.

Comments

DJAJBT 2

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:27

Hiya kayla ;)

SlaveToRetail 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 0:49

Set it by your door and use it to place your keys in?

JTorres8 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 1:24

Good for you for quitting!

akiahara 14

Thursday 22 March 2012 3:34

candy dish. I quit in November, cold turkey. hang in there, you can do it. :D

xxmeowxx43 1

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:07

Your son loves you.

COolErKiD1414 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:30

Why would they make this in school???

ThatAsianChick 2

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:56

birdbath!!

Sload_fml 5

Thursday 22 March 2012 4:59

Good for you for quitting. This reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip.

someguy998 8

Thursday 22 March 2012 5:35

i remember doing that in the third grade for my dad :)

kei1108 13

Thursday 22 March 2012 7:03

Great for you for quiting!!! be a good example for your son!!

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The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 686

You deserved it 3 321

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 872

You deserved it 4 683

The Top

Today, I read that food cravings are only supposed to last a couple of minutes. I have been craving and dreaming about pizza for a month straight, and the urge is only getting stronger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 242

Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 4 382

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 491

You deserved it 6 109

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 862

You deserved it 3 553

Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a problem, so I went back to the front desk. “Excuse me, but there’s already someone in my room!” The reply I got was, “So, what’s the problem?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 50

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 475

You deserved it 3 468