Love: Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction... - FML

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By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 17:38 - Ireland

Today, I realised I spend more time and receive more satisfaction talking on the phone with Chinese take away than talking to my wife in person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 171

You deserved it 23 573

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Same thing different taste

By oxbonxo - 07/02/2011 08:38 - Australia

Today, after hanging up the phone, I realised that telemarketers are my only form of social life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 598

You deserved it 6 163

By bloodshedblack - 21/02/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 484

You deserved it 4 396

By phonebaby - 18/11/2014 01:04 - United States - Stamford

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 7 660

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 760

You deserved it 5 901

By Jakeok - 14/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Fraser

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 411

You deserved it 7 639

Hindrance

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 06:00

Today, I haven’t spoken to my husband in a week, and when I finally spoke to him he thanked me because he’s gotten so much work done round the house, caught up on all his paperwork for his job, and reconnected with his Xbox friends. I didn’t realise I was such a fucking distraction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 598

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

By Gloria Lovestar - 13/09/2019 20:00

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 217

By ChickenBallsPlease - 28/01/2014 11:16 - United Kingdom - King's Lynn

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 588

You deserved it 16 661

Bad vibes

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 12:00 - Switzerland - Riehen

Today, the evening phone conversations with my boyfriend, after I finished all my tasks, used to be the one thing I would be looking forward to all day. It would keep me going. Now, they feel like one more task, one more box to check before I can truly relax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 224

The one with the phone addiction

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 05:15

Today, after feeling like I've been sucking as a friend and contacting a friend who has called me their best friend, but doesn't talk to me much, we grabbed a coffee. The whole time I was trying to have a conversation, she was on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 196

Next

Top comments

amayasoma 19

Monday 15 March 2010 23:53

Aww, poor you. How about discussing this with your wife and seeing if you and her can fix it.

sarcasMystic 0

Monday 15 March 2010 23:58

Imagine the Chinese guy's FML: "Today, I am beginning to get suspicious about one man who keeps calling for Chinese take-out and making conversation. He won't stop calling. FML."

Comments

Feverrotes 15

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:23

This is actually a decent FML if you think about it. Unfortunately, most guys are in the same boat as you are OP, I hope to not be in that boat.

erjaguam 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:25

you must be obese. I mean, I bet your wife is fed up of you as well.

aNTIzzle209 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:25

I love u

masterblaster39 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:29

Are you afraid that if you tell your wife you're unhappy, she will kick your ass? Grow a set and leave, but don't cry FYL!

SeedlessMe 13

Tuesday 16 March 2010 1:58

Dude, it's Ireland-- There, it is more socially acceptable to get your ass kicked by your wife than it is to get a divorce!

MonsterFeet 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:32

WTF. are you ordering the happy ending or something?

chemqueen20 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:51

lmao! when I was stationed in Korea the guys got happy endings and juicy girls o.O there were sometimes juicy boys O.o

sentient 10

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:33

I sympathize, sir. Good luck to you.

Ouroboros_fml 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:35

...so this affair is gonna be like American Pie, but with Chinese food... we-elll Hollywood IS running out of ideas... I don't know what to think of this...

Fulysikmulaka 1

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:40

Oh man. It sucks to be you. That's really sad.

Schazam 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:42

Stop ordering Sum Yun Boy and buy your wife a French Maid's outfit.

TIOFML 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 0:42

lmao!!really does everyone like to spend there time fighting damn!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 20 476

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 23 843

You deserved it 5 627

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I agree, your life sucks 22 139

You deserved it 3 018

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I agree, your life sucks 54 750

You deserved it 5 620

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I agree, your life sucks 29 305

You deserved it 3 492

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 151

You deserved it 2 673

Today, my parents came home after being out of town for the weekend. I stayed home, did homework and completely cleaned the house, thinking I could earn some brownie points with them. They saw how clean the house was and accused me of covering up a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 486

You deserved it 6 362