By CanWeAllGetOne - 13/11/2013 06:40 - United States - Houston

Spicy
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 900
You deserved it 14 071
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Top comments

amayasoma 19

Pleasing your man while doing your chores. You are certainly wife material

495 19

Comments

JMichael 25

Not sure whether to be impressed with your skills, or disappointed for your husband.

9 0
Myo_fml 20

I'd be disappointed in OP for not communicating to her husband what does and doesn't work. Why waste time getting good at faking orgasms when she could work with him on having real ones?

4 0
allplayedout 20

Why would he be hearing your juices during phone sex anyway? Do you usually squish the receiver between your legs and just yell at your crotch?

28 1
zRatio 6

*blows air through nose* That was funny at the end.

3 0
6FootUnder 11

Lmfao I like this one. She's funny haha.

0 0
shutupmichaela 18

at least he got the number right this time, instead of hassling that poor kid who was trying to take his order

32 1
ahh_rats 15

I guess that's something to be proud of...

0 0
jhs578650 9

So you are getting better at deceit and miscommunication. Good for you.

13 2
BeautifulChaos27 37

well... I'm grossed out from that lovely image (noise?) in my head...

0 2
luckylucas26 9

YDI for for faking the first place. Good luck with that.

4 3
jemiller226 13

73: I'm assuming you think men are so unbelievably insecure that we'd fall to pieces if you didn't fake it if you're not capable?

9 1
GraceyBlueEyes 13

@106, exactly! sometimes I ****** dyring sex sometimes I don't. I don't always care and neither does my fiancé. And if I care I do it myself because I know I'm difficult. If he cares he does it. Simple really.

2 1