By CanWeAllGetOne - 13/11/2013 06:40 - United States - Houston

Spicy
Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 900
You deserved it 14 071
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

amayasoma 19

Pleasing your man while doing your chores. You are certainly wife material

495 19

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Your relationship is the only thing getting ****** here

81 6
BlesstheSilence 11

allmidnighteyes's "just stir some mac n cheese" made me cringe more.

33 1
randomT 3

woman, that's talent. Slightly cold but hey, keeping your man happy

21 6
ilovefall10 21

This probably has been said a million times by now, but it's always better to just confront your boyfriend and tell him that whatever he's doing isn't working, try some new things, make it fun for both of you. What's the point if you're not even enjoying intimate with him?

21 8
nnnope 26

you'd be surprised at the number of women who fake orgasms because they can't physically achieve them.

7 9
Sh3lbs 6

It's harder than you think. You don't want to hurt their feelings or discourage them from trying. I can't bring myself to say"no, not there, HERE!" but you are right, it's unfair to both parties. I know if I sucked at giving head I'd want to know. Never thought of it like that

7 1
love_me_electric 20

Maybe she just wasn't in the mood but didn't want to disappoint him? It does say phone sex, so it's not like she could give him tips for how to please her better, she was touching herself.

11 0
CattyHead 5

the next practical step is your own 900 number. 1-900-MyJuices

18 2
edanielleh 21

I will never understand why some women fake. If i don't like the sex, i'll make suggestions on what to do. I am not going to be like "that really was bad" but i will give constructive criticism. And most guys like to get it. I mean, who really wants to be with someone who isn't having fun? So you totally deserve it. Just tell your husband what to do for once. I am sure he will be excited when you actually start to want sex

51 1
Sangue0608 26

I couldn't agree more. I actually live when my wife tells me what she wants, it has and still improves our sex life.

6 2
udolipixie 2

Perhaps most guys in your experience like to get it a lot of FML will show quite a lot of guys don't like being told they aren't pleasing their partner and the response tends to be calling the gal a ****, *****, ****, bitch, or acting like she's some oversexed horrible human being for wanting to ****** because apparently she should just enjoy the intimacy/connection of him f*cking her.

0 0
perdix 29

If you're so good, you could become a phone sex operator and get someone else to do your laundry for you. Heck, you could get someone else to do your husband for you. ;) As long as you fake it, he thinks he's doing great.

15 3
feven 32

I've seen a lot if these on fml lately. I guess making love is a thing of the past.

17 0
articnights2 2

So is the term,"making love". You can't make a emotion... ... "We made happy" , "we made upset"?

2 1
kelloggg 8

Why fake? May as well just go for it and have fun. If its not working for you then tell him. Surely you're at that stage by now.

8 1