Miscellaneous: Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29.... - FML

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By fuckit - 31/01/2009 17:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 247

You deserved it 5 616

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Spicy

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 927

You deserved it 48 812

By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 18:47 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 166

You deserved it 5 509

Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 287

You deserved it 12 756

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Spicy

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 944

You deserved it 7 618

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Spicy

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 571

You deserved it 636

Celebrate good times come on!

By badplacerightnow - 13/10/2014 14:15 - United States - Frisco

Spicy

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 999

You deserved it 9 239

By DosSantos - 03/08/2017 00:30

Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 475

You deserved it 969

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 069

You deserved it 6 405

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 386

I remember…

By vcarder - 26/09/2009 08:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 714

You deserved it 6 391

Next

Top comments

alwaysalady 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 20:13

When I got married, my husband's best friend gave him a package of condoms at his bachelor party. little did we know he had carefully opened the box and stuck a tiny needle though all of them and then glued the box shut again. Nine months later....

ipod_fml 0

Saturday 30 April 2011 13:33

you should post this as FML...

Comments

bexx1996 0

Tuesday 15 March 2011 1:30

i second this!

What_Willis_is_t 1

Friday 22 April 2011 3:32

At least your hand appreciated the protection.

invicta8926 0

Friday 29 April 2011 6:40

Get outta here and get a girlfriend!

xMRxLAMAx 0

Monday 2 May 2011 18:10

So?

fmlizdabest 0

Monday 16 May 2011 5:43

i third :)

mnohoe 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 14:34

I bet the one that was missing was only a test run to see if he got the right size. The things we will never know still remain a mystery. Hmmm. bum bum bum.

Phyre24 17

Saturday 12 November 2011 23:04

I am in complete agreement with the above statement (lol, very official sounding right?)

Coffeebang 17

Monday 6 February 2012 22:08

Get out more!

9whitetrash1 5

Thursday 8 March 2012 5:58

He probably beat off in the one lol

Jamie1806 8

Monday 9 July 2012 4:25

Doesn't matter, had sex.

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Miscellaneous I need your advice Love Awkward First Dates Technology Health Hair Money Kids Parents Dating My ex Cute Alcohol Mental health Birthday Family Death Funerals Poopoo peepee Work TV shows Sex Video games Gamers Friends Intimacy School Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I realized that my neighbors can not only hear me singing in the shower through my apartment's paper-thin walls, they also take great delight in recording it so that they can play it at high volume for their friends when they next throw a party. I want to disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 008

You deserved it 4 460

Today, my FWB and I were on a road trip. His dumbass got us pulled over by the cops, and he decided it was the perfect moment to start fingering me. Worse yet, I got off in between visits from the cop. He took his license and ticket with his fingering hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 598

The Top

Today, I was practising kicks with a a woman in my MMA class and for some reason she dropped her pads to ask me a question at the last second, and I kicked her in the jaw. I got banned from the class for not being careful. She’s the one lowered the pad in the middle of practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 110

Today, I have an ear infection. I was resting outside when my young neighbor flew his RC plane right into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 145

You deserved it 1 288

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 117

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 100

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 800

You deserved it 3 569

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 203

You deserved it 4 212