Intimacy: Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week,...

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 552

You deserved it 5 532

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 711

You deserved it 3 993

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 280

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 906

You deserved it 6 602

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 4 496

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 045

You deserved it 2 323

By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 9 226

By ihateeverything - 14/01/2015 17:35 - United States - Granbury

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 528

You deserved it 8 472

Stop, please stop

By yuck - 05/06/2015 19:11

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 439

You deserved it 4 202

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 840

facefirst 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:06

That blows.

mykehawke 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:07

you can be my roommate anytime 

Comments

zombienightmare 0

Monday 30 November 2009 8:43

start cuffing yourself in bed so you can't sleep walk maybe he'll cum to you though

misha1995 0

Monday 30 November 2009 12:15

In answer to your badly worded question, yes that's rape.

Senken_ 0

Monday 30 November 2009 18:01

lmfao damn that sucks. don't sweat it though. not like you went all "on like donkey" on his poinker.

thelegendarystm_fml 1

Monday 30 November 2009 19:57

are you kidding? that's awesome!

ragsy 7

Monday 30 November 2009 21:18

Oh please. Stop pretending to sleepwalk and come out of the closet already.

delfoxio 0

Monday 30 November 2009 22:49

how could you find his dong in your sleep?

NrthrnLghts 0

Monday 30 November 2009 23:14

The fact that the OP's gender isn't classified practically says he's a dude. YDI for having **** fantasies.

uncletr 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 7:02

huh...

j8t 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 4:32

uhhhh please be coed roomies

SecretAznMan364 5

Thursday 3 December 2009 5:05

I don't know how the hell you can walk around in the dark, find your partner's dick, and tear it up like mad. You are a very strange person. Though I must say that guy must be lucky if your a girl anyway. If you are a dude then that is just PLAIN WRONG!!!