Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to...

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 29 537

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 288

You deserved it 9 810

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 993

You deserved it 7 610

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 625

You deserved it 39 822

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 347

You deserved it 28 543

By Todd - 14/08/2012 16:14 - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he had an intense argument with the microwave, resulting in him threatening to ground me after I tried to calm him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 816

You deserved it 1 977

By Anonymous - 11/05/2011 14:33 - United States

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 284

You deserved it 16 328

I'm so tired

By Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 292

You deserved it 56 119

By GamingWolfy5 - 27/06/2019 06:36

Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 2 923

By Anonymous - 09/07/2014 20:49 - United States

Today, my road rage got so out of hand that I'm now actually inclined to honk obnoxiously at my computer when it's being slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 17 234

Akumie 6

Monday 13 February 2012 2:58

Pore microwave.:c it was just doing its job. **** your microwave's life

grahambertus 11

Monday 13 February 2012 3:12

Yes, that PORE microwave. All it ever wanted was to be a hair follicle, but now its just a pimple.

Comments

arielzbkny 0

Monday 13 February 2012 12:58

No ur just crazy...

SoultheWolf 19

Monday 13 February 2012 13:29

What the hell is wrong with you... I feel sorry for anyone who gets into a romantic relationship with you...

pwiseman 6

Monday 13 February 2012 14:20

Microwave bips are awful. You're right to scream about it.

Altie 13

Monday 13 February 2012 16:36

I think you've got more than just anger issues

zamattiac 4

Monday 13 February 2012 22:56

Good for you! The first step is admitting you have a problem.

bubo_fml 10

Monday 13 February 2012 23:36

You sound like you could use a "Talkie Toaster!"

bubo_fml 10

Monday 13 February 2012 23:38

Reduce your stress level in the kitchen...Start with a Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven & work your way up...

cunningchick 1

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:23

You know I think you might be right on that one:)

structuredchaoz 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:25

You really need to go get help. Get to the root of your issues and deal with them.

brightaylar 4

Tuesday 14 February 2012 0:41

I am laughing so hard right now

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 2 515

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message, which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 561

You deserved it 2 534

Today, my 27-year-old son told me that for him, eating a food he doesn’t like is “way, way worse” than breaking a bone. He has broken both his arms, several ribs, and a few of his toes, and he still thinks that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 266

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 847

You deserved it 49 069

Today my wife told me she really wanted to have sex, and to wait in bed while she got ready. Turns out get ready means do the dishes, feed the dogs, clean the cat's litter tray, phone her sister, make coffee, shower, and wait for the dryer to dry her pyjamas. By the time she got in bed, I'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 1 087

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 899

You deserved it 2 811

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 080

You deserved it 3 565

Same thing different taste

Freakout

I'm so tired

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