Love: Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway....

By prettylady? - 28/10/2012 04:22 - United States

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 126

You deserved it 2 859

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Same thing different taste

By errrmkl46 - 02/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 617

You deserved it 3 994

By lalala2494 - 27/05/2019 22:05

Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 221

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 991

You deserved it 3 693

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 883

You deserved it 3 143

Gross!

By Anonymous - 17/07/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 301

You deserved it 4 804

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - 20/04/2021 08:00

Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 118

Behave yourselves

By DogStew - 16/11/2023 08:00

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 100

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 8 584

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 623

You deserved it 9 662

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 905

You deserved it 5 152

ycrem0n 21

Sunday 28 October 2012 13:38

Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you

loloalltheway 23

Sunday 28 October 2012 13:34

Overly attached stranger?

Comments

noisebox 1

Monday 29 October 2012 19:58

Hope you've learned a lesson there, the guy now knows where live too.

adamk1989 0

Tuesday 30 October 2012 0:44

Is it Louis CK?

dansco 24

Tuesday 30 October 2012 1:41

Tease :-/

Quimpo 14

Thursday 1 November 2012 7:11

that's one nice creepy man lol

BFMV1225 7

Saturday 24 November 2012 15:38

Cant say i blame him. These days its hard to come across anyone that still has some manners.

aibasmith 7

Friday 9 August 2013 0:44

Have fune

Notorias 4

Sunday 1 September 2013 14:11

baykavy143 3

Friday 18 October 2013 23:55

yeah that is very creey

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 4 July 2015 15:52

If someone is following you, never go to your house.

InfiniteSecret 20

Sunday 26 November 2017 0:37

Why did you actually go to your house! Why not go ANYWHERE ELSE. You literally lead them to your house.

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Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 88

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome today's artist! Today is special, because the artist is maybe a he, maybe a she, maybe his name is Harry, maybe her name is Paula, the truth is that I don't know much about him or her. I think it's a ghost. At l...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 681

You deserved it 124 322

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 191

You deserved it 2 626

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 345

You deserved it 8 696

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 021

You deserved it 3 797

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 939

You deserved it 68 031

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 23 902

Same thing different taste

Gross!

Too good to be true

Behave yourselves

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