Intimacy: Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked,...

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By not a dick-man - 12/08/2014 17:05 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 754

You deserved it 31 587

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Same thing different taste

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 129

You deserved it 3 784

By menerethrr - 05/02/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name "Mom" is right next to "Mike" in my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 961

You deserved it 53 388

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 626

You deserved it 4 064

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 515

You deserved it 11 075

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 323

By betchyo - 01/10/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 848

You deserved it 5 531

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 538

You deserved it 39 038

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 935

You deserved it 8 836

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 385

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 96 475

powelale0000 19

Tuesday 12 August 2014 22:50

He probably thinks you're a dick now.

wopchop12 8

Tuesday 12 August 2014 22:51

Why was his dick hanging out?

Comments

todlich 4

Wednesday 13 August 2014 15:29

#bigdickproblems

someguyhere 12

Wednesday 13 August 2014 15:41

I don't know a single man that would do what you did. Sounds like the actions of a girl.

dumpless 13

Wednesday 13 August 2014 16:15

Oh shit OP I think you lost your ******* respect.

sbarua219 17

Wednesday 13 August 2014 17:01

Wtf did j just read

derpyxmufffins 8

Wednesday 13 August 2014 17:46

Genius idea. let's poke the giant bulge in the pocket...

Saikon1357 25

Wednesday 13 August 2014 20:55

God damn it mike.

Davros 12

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:08

omg I'm crying from laughing so hard. thanks for brightening my day.

mikeyboi19 5

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:17

Pointing works just as well.

mattmsk005 8

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:44

Man... You got it ruff compared to the other fmls

Sakuraashita 15

Thursday 14 August 2014 1:13

Aw, he was happy to see you...

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Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

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You deserved it 9 710

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 40 739

You deserved it 4 109

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I agree, your life sucks 39 096

You deserved it 13 000

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 006

You deserved it 4 025

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 843

You deserved it 2 314

Same thing different taste

Early learner

Hey you

Great chat!

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