Intimacy: Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked,...

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By not a dick-man - 12/08/2014 17:05 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 754

You deserved it 31 587

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Same thing different taste

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 129

You deserved it 3 784

By menerethrr - 05/02/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I sent my best friend Mike the link to a porn site we were talking about at a party. Turns out the name "Mom" is right next to "Mike" in my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 961

You deserved it 53 388

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 626

You deserved it 4 064

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 515

You deserved it 11 075

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 969

You deserved it 323

By betchyo - 01/10/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 847

You deserved it 5 530

By notgay - 12/02/2013 02:30 - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 538

You deserved it 39 038

By what - 25/09/2013 14:42 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 935

You deserved it 8 836

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 385

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 96 475

powelale0000 19

Tuesday 12 August 2014 22:50

He probably thinks you're a dick now.

wopchop12 8

Tuesday 12 August 2014 22:51

Why was his dick hanging out?

Comments

headofmedusa 15

Wednesday 13 August 2014 4:34

Plot twist: the bulge was in his back pocket.

ryukk420 1

Wednesday 13 August 2014 4:35

that makes you gay. you're gay now. get use to it

metheonlyb 17

Wednesday 13 August 2014 4:44

For fucksake Mike. Don't touch dicks. :D

frankhobz 14

Wednesday 13 August 2014 4:55

Was his dick named mike or was the friends name mike?

vikky538 28

Wednesday 13 August 2014 4:58

thats ri"dick"ulous... and you poked it...

sharpshooterben 13

Wednesday 13 August 2014 5:04

What was goin through your mind?

PokeZilla 9

Wednesday 13 August 2014 5:06

Guess you found out the HARD way, huh?

HavockWalks 2

Wednesday 13 August 2014 5:51

Aaahahaha!!! That's funny as ****!!! Pissed myself laughing at that one!!

christi_im21 12

Wednesday 13 August 2014 5:55

Tf after all those is that ... In your pocket or you're just happy to see me jokes you touched it

alicat13 12

Wednesday 13 August 2014 6:08

So,... he likes you... :-)

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Today, I was taking the subway to school. I was applying some makeup when I noticed a little boy watching me. When I was finished I heard him whisper to his mom, "I thought make up was supposed to make you pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 487

You deserved it 6 761

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Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML

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Same thing different taste

Early learner

Hey you

Great chat!

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