Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it...

By asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 9 389

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 54 043

By robbedonCTA - 22/09/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 111

You deserved it 7 707

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 141

You deserved it 3 643

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 204

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 481

You deserved it 5 295

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 271

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 614

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Get back here!

By anythingjean - 25/05/2009 21:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 839

You deserved it 9 744

narkill 13

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:51

Well. That's very...disturbing...

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:52

I hope he had pants on

Comments

maximus_prime 24

Thursday 16 May 2013 2:24

Some guys are like that OP, 3 humps and its over.

mattlw 25

Thursday 16 May 2013 2:45

I wonder who put the coin there???

splashface1 10

Thursday 16 May 2013 3:24

And why do 3400+ people think op deserved to be humped?? Lol

xXNerrrdXx 16

Thursday 16 May 2013 4:47

i was thinking how nasty the world got when i read this.....till i noticed OP is a guy....xD FYL bro rofl

Lacist 19

Thursday 16 May 2013 5:52

You know what's creepier, my friend told me a similar story.

Narcisse_fml 25

Thursday 16 May 2013 6:25

I'd hate to think about what would've happened if you'd squatted down instead of bending over.

royalsgrl 14

Thursday 16 May 2013 7:28

Don't get how she deserved ydi!!! How does anyone deserve that from a strange man. Sexual harassment

LittleMagicWolf 7

Thursday 16 May 2013 9:19

Lol that's happened to me in high school by both genders. But they were my jackass friends, not some stranger. ._.'

lovelyohhmee 8

Thursday 16 May 2013 9:57

Why would you bend down with your ass up in the air? Not very lady like.

mr_sarcastic416 29

Thursday 16 May 2013 11:58

#132 especially since OP is male

babyblueyes 27

Thursday 16 May 2013 11:51

Did I just get laid? - quagmire

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 091

You deserved it 13 428

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132

The Top

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 9 158

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 889

You deserved it 3 005

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 5 104

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 112

You deserved it 16 895

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 482

You deserved it 3 030

Today, it appears that the cousin who burglarized my house and threatened to kill my wife, daughter, and me during a meth binge is more welcome at a family reunion than we are. We were assured last year by family that this wouldn't happen, because we are "good people who have wronged no one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 220