Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it...

By asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 9 389

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 704

You deserved it 755

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 161

You deserved it 54 041

By robbedonCTA - 22/09/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 109

You deserved it 7 707

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 138

You deserved it 3 643

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 204

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 480

You deserved it 5 295

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 269

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 611

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Get back here!

By anythingjean - 25/05/2009 21:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 838

You deserved it 9 744

narkill 13

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:51

Well. That's very...disturbing...

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:52

I hope he had pants on

Comments

Xotoolyxo 16

Wednesday 15 May 2013 23:37

I bet that's some kind of disturbing fetish

Mike2293 5

Thursday 16 May 2013 0:39

if this would happen in front of me...you could wipe me off the floor id laugh so hard!

Mike2293 5

Thursday 16 May 2013 0:41

If i saw this. id die of laughing.

MichaelT17 9

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:14

Well..... I NOW gotta be careful picking up money

Ins0mau 20

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:21

Doesn't matter. Had sex.

NeoMatrix25 12

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:45

If i had a nickel for every time that's happened to me...I'd have a nickel. As I recall I found it one day and bent to pick it up....

NeoMatrix25 12

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:48

In this case, both head and tail were facing up

WelcomeToAndale 13

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:49

What a legend!

peacefaiiry 9

Thursday 16 May 2013 1:59

Lmao! Hilarious

jamnglamgirlie 17

Thursday 16 May 2013 2:19

I'm sorry that happened to you OP.

Keywords

Shopping Love My ex Vacation Holidays Family AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Relatable Miscellaneous Harassment Engagement Ironic Health Food Work Money Technology Awkward Embarrassing Singing Kids Party Sex Cute Revenge Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 249

You deserved it 207

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 801

The Top

Today, I dropped my handbag into a water-filled gutter. As I was hurriedly fishing out the contents of my bag, I looked up. There was my ex, with the girl he left me for walking past, timed exactly to coincide with me manically scooping up one of many rapidly absorbing tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 559

You deserved it 2 264

Today, I went to hospital with chest pain and they discovered I need a triple bypass for three arteries clogged with fat. The doctor assumed from my scans that I must be middle aged or older because he’d never seen three arteries clogged so badly on someone under 50. I’m 27 FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 314

Today, I dropped a $400 bottle of wine while trying to get the cork out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 281

You deserved it 17 994

Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 717

You deserved it 13 909

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 801

You deserved it 5 107

Today, on a camping trip, where it’s raining, I'm suddenly popular. With whom? With slugs! I found one in my shoe, one in my bag, two in my cooking pot and the last one I grabbed – surprise! - on the backside of my coffee mug, which was inside the bag, on the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 103