Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it...

By asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 9 389

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 54 043

By robbedonCTA - 22/09/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 111

You deserved it 7 707

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 141

You deserved it 3 643

New variant incoming

By Death to all Covidiots. - 02/02/2022 16:59

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 204

By sorrystupid - 02/06/2015 07:42 - United States

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 481

You deserved it 5 295

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 271

Stunlocked

By RoyBoy - 26/07/2021 18:01

Today, a stranger asked to borrow my phone since his had died. As he was using it, he kept walking away and I had to chase him because he was walking too far. He turned around, yelled, "Stop following me, asshole!" and punched me, knocking me out cold. When I came to, I realized the fucker stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 614

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 268

Get back here!

By anythingjean - 25/05/2009 21:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 839

You deserved it 9 744

narkill 13

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:51

Well. That's very...disturbing...

SpamPam 18

Wednesday 15 May 2013 18:52

I hope he had pants on

Comments

kernelkat 16

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:43

That's cra cra. I'd call the police.

ZodiacalComa7 11

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:45

From now on, kneel down to stoop.

jhicks123 10

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:48

Heh heh. Sorry was that you? (Insert awkward face here)

jackaced 7

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:54

His face? Would it have been better if he was hot?

Ypetrol 11

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:54

I mean today is National Hump Day

TisAPenguin 16

Wednesday 15 May 2013 19:58

Ew. Sounds like my ex. Which is one reason he's my ex...

ShakeDisPlace 10

Wednesday 15 May 2013 20:03

You should of did the "bend, and snap" OP.

TiffGreen 11

Wednesday 15 May 2013 20:07

you should bend at the knee not waist... especially in public!

MattieJH 12

Wednesday 15 May 2013 20:07

Well that's... Eventful? Happy hump day, I suppose? On the bright side, Wednesday is also Jenna Marbles day, so you can just go home and watch her rant to cheer you up :3