Love: Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he...

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 13 656

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Same thing different taste

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:05 - Canada - Neustadt

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 52 011

By spoony - 19/01/2009 05:32 - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 3 056

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 6 823

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 773

You deserved it 5 265

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 4 901

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 580

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 561

Welshite 39

Friday 8 August 2014 18:19

Let's just hope he's a vampire.

baseballbv 17

Friday 8 August 2014 18:21

Cover your mouth with your hand like you're smiling shyly. It's cute.

Comments

ostfaiz 18

Friday 8 August 2014 18:30

quite a bloody affair Op!!

ckerane 16

Friday 8 August 2014 18:43

bloody deserved it

wassuploves 16

Friday 8 August 2014 19:23

it's a subtle bite... in order to bleed you probably had to bite pretty hard which is not that attractive..

brittanymaee 6

Friday 8 August 2014 19:44

Who the hell does. That

alex_622 22

Friday 8 August 2014 19:45

Guess you weren't a smooth operator that time, op

MisterGasMoney 16

Friday 8 August 2014 19:50

Try practicing the shy flirty look instead of the lip bite.

The_Toadster 6

Friday 8 August 2014 19:51

you were wayyyyy to excited.

TheTwerkCapt 11

Friday 8 August 2014 19:52

If I was him I would have ran up to you and said "Damn, am I that hot?"

_allisonn_ 5

Friday 8 August 2014 20:01

bloody hell! XD

ImRJ 7

Friday 8 August 2014 20:08

lol. I guess someone has to step up her flirting game

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The Top

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 23 502

The Top

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 191

You deserved it 5 766

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 18 036

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 6 698

Today, my spouse gave me the gift of hugging me. I'm so touch-starved, I cried. I can see our relationship crumbling but I'm the only one who seems to want to fix it. Our kid saw me and I can't even explain how sad it made me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 153

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 885

You deserved it 9 652

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 053

You deserved it 4 241

Same thing different taste

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Hi-de-hi

Cool moves

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