Love: Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he...

By alisaav - 08/08/2014 07:40 - Thailand

Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 267

You deserved it 13 656

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Same thing different taste

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:05 - Canada - Neustadt

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 940

You deserved it 52 011

By spoony - 19/01/2009 05:32 - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 3 056

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 6 823

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 773

You deserved it 5 265

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 4 901

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 46 580

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 426

You deserved it 62 561

Welshite 39

Friday 8 August 2014 18:19

Let's just hope he's a vampire.

baseballbv 17

Friday 8 August 2014 18:21

Cover your mouth with your hand like you're smiling shyly. It's cute.

Comments

ericjprs 3

Friday 8 August 2014 20:14

How hard did you bite it? lol

killer0689 20

Friday 8 August 2014 20:19

lol.. that would have made me laugh if I was that guy :D and yeah u seen to be sexy.... wanna chat??

Angelkisses130 26

Friday 8 August 2014 20:24

How freakin hard did you bite it!?!

rogerover 19

Friday 8 August 2014 20:31

I would bleed for you!! That says a lot!

Memma_fml 14

Friday 8 August 2014 20:32

That's embarrassing xD

brivielle 15

Friday 8 August 2014 20:41

Apparently this miss Steele bit too hard.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 8 August 2014 21:13

Did he come over and check on you? That will show he cares and maybe likes you as well

lolurkidding 13

Friday 8 August 2014 21:13

He should have came to your rescue...then again if it was me, I'm terrified of blood sorry op

xNephilim 18

Friday 8 August 2014 21:51

Just stick to smiling back next time.

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 8 August 2014 22:13

Fifty shades of red perhaps...

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The Top

Today, my future sister-in-law, who hasn’t even been engaged a week, informed everyone that the wedding is on December 19th, which is the due date of my first child. My brother won’t change the date and is making my family choose between his wedding or being at the hospital with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 525

You deserved it 209

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 933

The Top

Today, after being unemployed for the last year, I finally got an interview. When they asked me my favorite pastime, I panicked and said, "Dancing with my cat." I guess I won’t be hearing from them anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 574

You deserved it 1 119

Today, my knee was dislocated. At a haunted house. By a midget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 304

Today, if I don't do work around the house, my girlfriend will call me a lazy pig and yell at me. If I do, she will yell because I didn't do it the right way. If I ask her to clarify the right way, she will call me a dumbass, give useless instructions, and work herself up into yelling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 258

Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine 3 weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealer ship to pick me up. She backed in to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 644

You deserved it 967

Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 559

You deserved it 4 090

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 223

You deserved it 5 969

Same thing different taste

Sharing is caring

Hi-de-hi

Cool moves

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