Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny...

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

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Same thing different taste

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 523

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 089

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 779

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 37 011

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 405

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 878

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 774

You deserved it 11 474

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 963

You deserved it 4 787

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:15

thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach

eduardo2k 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:30

roach 1 - 0 you

Comments

susieKiute 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 8:45

that's what you get for trying to pee on the poor insect...next time use Raid, it works better

megatrontwo 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 10:28

Two possibilities: One: You copied this from the grasshopper story, so YDI for being a troll. Two: This actually happened, in which case YDI for being a sadistic prick.

citygirlnomore 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 11:05

ew u know they can fly right..?

Capdan58 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:07

Next time put your back into it and blast that roach to the big roach motel in the sky!

ozymandias_fml 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:27

YDI for being a disgusting scuzz-bag with roaches.

monster_tamer 11

Wednesday 23 December 2009 16:37

Roaches jump? 0.0

Liekjj 7

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:46

This FML is the almost the same as the one with the grasshopper. The only difference is that the FML with the grasshopper wasn't copied from another FML and this one is.

blastvortex 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 17:51

Yup, it's a copycat FML, and a lame one at that. Full of crap or not though, YDI, OP.

ColdGold 6

Wednesday 23 December 2009 18:03

It was funny. Very funny. ha ha ha

BigSky182 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 19:47

OK, I am new here and even I have seen this particular fml at least 3 times. Variations so far include a grasshopper, a roach, and a spider, hitting your head, hitting your head AND breaking your nose, and all 3 include pissing on oneself. OP - get some new material mkay?