Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny...

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

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Same thing different taste

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 521

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 649

You deserved it 46 028

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 957

You deserved it 54 088

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 779

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 975

You deserved it 37 009

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 402

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 875

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 11 474

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 823

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 959

You deserved it 4 787

jessxoxo28 5

Tuesday 22 December 2009 23:15

thats wat u get for trying to pee on a roach

eduardo2k 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:30

roach 1 - 0 you

Comments

Nomad1989 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 3:59

im really at a loss how u made it to pee over yourself?~!

ETFfreak 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:11

You're an idiot. YDI.

Tigg3r 3

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:21

Why did it not occur to you to just flush it down the toilet? I mean really? Well I suppose it's better than the guy who was peeing on cactus and his (rather awesome) dog jumped on his back.

Rakshasa23 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:44

Gosh durn Rednecks!!!!!

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Wednesday 23 December 2009 4:53

Since when does a common roach jump? I used to live in an apartment that was constantly infested with roaches, no matter how much cleaning or bug bombing we did, and I never once saw a roach jump. You must have some scarier roaches then I did.