Love: Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 427

You deserved it 10 272

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 7 674

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 740

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 842

You deserved it 5 155

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 265

You deserved it 2 650

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 498

You deserved it 6 823

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 846

You deserved it 5 286

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 265

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 688

You deserved it 5 888

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 16 147

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 732

You deserved it 24 975

Next

Top comments

upsidedownn 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

You blew him away. :)

puppster391 16

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

Well that... stinks ;D

Comments

fenixtorador1 11

Monday 17 December 2012 9:30

Well that's attractive..?

YoungMisfit 9

Monday 17 December 2012 9:34

I smell love in the air

AidenSurvival 7

Monday 17 December 2012 9:34

It'll blow away.

broken_red_wagon 6

Tuesday 25 December 2012 17:35

Ha! :D

fsomelife 26

Monday 17 December 2012 9:36

Taken from the diary of Pearl the Octopus.

simoncat 11

Tuesday 18 December 2012 3:05

Ah you made me ink

Tempest559 12

Monday 17 December 2012 9:52

I like a girl who can fart in front of me. Don't worry.

buckdharma 37

Monday 17 December 2012 11:03

I would prefer if she farted behind my back.

buckdharma 37

Monday 17 December 2012 9:52

Where's that fat guy when you need him?

OldMemoriesFade 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:55

And everybody blames the fat guy!

DoubleBlumpkin 4

Monday 17 December 2012 9:56

Fear fart? You have been blessed with a natural self defense mechanism..congrats.

pdp_fml 21

Monday 17 December 2012 10:10

Did he speak to you? If not then there wouldn't nothing to worry about. Were you able to strike up a conversation?

buckdharma 37

Monday 17 December 2012 10:13

Yes, butt only in body language...

bhujwala 2

Monday 17 December 2012 10:26

You should have told him that he brings the fartatious side out of you

Dnigz13 4

Monday 17 December 2012 10:39

My younger sister farts uncontrollably when she's nervous.... And I mean uncontrollably, she doesn't stop, but it's extremely funny unless your in the car with her and she gets scared

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Christmas Cute Work Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Shopping Awkward Gifts Health Friends Relatable Hair Poopoo peepee Money Education Animals Gross Neighbours Cops Sex Intimacy Smells Love Painful First Dates Social Media Music

The Top

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 795

You deserved it 3 231

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 202

The Top

Today, in a convenience store, I asked a girl who wasn't wearing her mask and not keeping her distance to step away. After telling me to fuck off, she put her mask on, went to the teenage manager and said I was harassing her. Even after hearing my side of the story, I was asked to leave. Turns out it was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 381

Today, I finally built up the courage to confess my love to the girl of my dreams. She turned me down. When I asked her about all the recent receptive behavior toward me, she replied, "I thought it'd be funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 962

You deserved it 2 546

Today, I confessed to my coworker that I'm interested in her romantically. She turned me down, saying that I'm a great guy, but that she basically doesn't want mixed-race children. She said she isn't racist, though, so I guess it's all okay, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 916

You deserved it 3 327

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 003

You deserved it 3 337

Today, my little sister put me in charge of keeping her fighting fish alive. It would've been an easy task if it weren't for my crazy ex-boyfriend drunkenly forcing his way into my house, vomiting into the fishbowl and killing the fish. Only ten more hours until my family gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 017

You deserved it 514

Today, I tripped and hit my head on a rock, perforating my eardrum. That rock also broke. It was a €3000 headstone I now have to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 137