Love: Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started...

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 427

You deserved it 10 272

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 572

You deserved it 7 674

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 740

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 842

You deserved it 5 155

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 265

You deserved it 2 650

By embarassed - 12/10/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 498

You deserved it 6 823

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 846

You deserved it 5 286

By Anonymous - 19/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 265

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 688

You deserved it 5 888

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 521

You deserved it 16 147

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 732

You deserved it 24 975

upsidedownn 8

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

You blew him away. :)

puppster391 16

Monday 17 December 2012 9:23

Well that... stinks ;D

Comments

Bunny_Fcked_up 2

Monday 17 December 2012 15:32

"What's that smell?" My love for you....

interesting33 36

Monday 17 December 2012 16:18

Hahhahahaha

skyeyez9 24

Monday 17 December 2012 16:28

Was it a barely audible one or a horrendously loud fart? That makes all the difference.

watsonpsykosis 10

Monday 17 December 2012 18:52

That made my day! It's like a dog who pees when he gets excited.

camirish9 6

Monday 17 December 2012 19:08

It was glitching allowing me to vote twenty times in i agree and then said error but they didnt go away

cgstarz790 3

Monday 17 December 2012 19:20

Bahahahaha maybe it was a loud not so smelly fart? Then you'd still have a chance

penguindude82 2

Monday 17 December 2012 19:42

Called playing hard to get

Sir_Swaggington 6

Monday 17 December 2012 20:29

How embarrassing, I hope he didn't notice lol

icepick23 12

Monday 17 December 2012 21:30

Nonsense--women do not fart

LupusDie 9

Monday 17 December 2012 22:26

Could've been worse, you could've crapped your pants.

WhatYouMean 4

Tuesday 18 December 2012 0:48

Hahaha, Perfect timing I see xD

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Cute Christmas Am I overreacting? Holidays Cats Gifts Awkward Shopping Health Friends Hair Relatable Poopoo peepee Education Money Gross Animals Sex Intimacy Cops Neighbours Smells Love Painful First Dates Social Media Grieving

The Top

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 753

You deserved it 21 326

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 151

The Top

So much sass from such a small dog!

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 98

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 3 998

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 810

You deserved it 7 555

Today, I was walking down my street when a girl came up behind me and started yelling about me being a slut. When she saw I was the wrong person, she continued to yell at me because I have blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 171

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 3 244

Today, at work, this lady comes up to the counter and asks me for some napkins. She came up to the counter 5 times, when my boss told me to find out what happened to her. Her daughter had puked all over the table and floor, she had covered it with napkins and then left. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 911

You deserved it 3 162

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

My body hates me

Prankster

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