Transportation: Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing...

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 052

You deserved it 2 719

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Same thing different taste

By i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!! - 23/05/2017 00:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 986

You deserved it 348

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 126

You deserved it 1 727

Heist

By Bobo - 11/10/2022 10:00

Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 176

You deserved it 97

By Dan223 - 01/10/2015 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 596

You deserved it 3 736

Reported

By bubblzzz - 21/06/2019 16:01

Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 280

You deserved it 145

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 94

By nodad - 11/10/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 342

By carless - 15/08/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 909

You deserved it 4 232

By Anonymous - 30/08/2017 20:00

Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 278

You deserved it 244

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

jayellef 3

Friday 2 December 2011 16:08

Call the cops.

L_Lovegood 19

Friday 2 December 2011 16:09

Nothing like family.

Comments

andrew87804 4

Friday 2 December 2011 18:31

Ha ha!I see what u did there .......Car-ful

MoZZie_fml 0

Friday 2 December 2011 18:47

cuz your dad is a ******* BOSS

hateevryone 14

Friday 2 December 2011 19:16

call the police. so what if he's your dad.

LadiDi_fml 10

Friday 2 December 2011 19:38

Uhum... so I guess you won't see him again for a litle while right?

bubo_fml 10

Friday 2 December 2011 19:41

The good news is now you can see him on a regular basis...During visiting hours @ county lockup...

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 2 December 2011 21:41

Deadbeat.

IndigoAcrylic 9

Friday 2 December 2011 21:59

Maybe he was taking it to the dump.....TO GET YA A FERRARII ;D Lalalalala ^_^ HAPPY CHRISTMAS

IndigoAcrylic 9

Friday 2 December 2011 21:59

Maybe he was taking it to the dump.....TO GET YA A FERRARII ;D Lalalalala ^_^ HAPPY CHRISTMAS

shots1996 8

Friday 2 December 2011 23:15

He wasnt stealin it he was borrowin it without askin! Id call the cops ifi were you

ninabobina4ever 3

Friday 2 December 2011 23:24

That is so sad

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, after getting a new remote job and traveling to the Bahamas while working remote, without asking my employer, because I figured they wouldn't find out and I didn't want them to say no. IT ended up tracking my computer and telling HR I was overseas and I got fired after I returned from my trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 2 349

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 385

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I watched a large, sweaty woman stick a hairbrush down her shirt to scratch a rash on her back, before putting it back on the shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 353

You deserved it 1 101

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 1 631

Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 294

You deserved it 10 807

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly and ride my bike to work for the first time. I made it approximately three minutes before getting my shoelace caught in the gears, sending me crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of uncoordination. Now I have a sprained ankle and a newfound appreciation for cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 322