Transportation: Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 052

You deserved it 2 719

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Same thing different taste

By i stole your daughter's virginity anyways!! - 23/05/2017 00:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 981

You deserved it 346

By me. - 12/11/2012 04:30 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 125

You deserved it 1 727

Heist

By Bobo - 11/10/2022 10:00

Today, my father stole the money I'd saved up by working and spent it all gambling. I'd saved it up for a year for a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 97

By Dan223 - 01/10/2015 13:26 - United States

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in almost five years, at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 594

You deserved it 3 735

Reported

By bubblzzz - 21/06/2019 16:01

Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 274

You deserved it 144

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 10:00

Today, I caught my dad stealing my money again, after I'd warned him he was on his last chance. I threw him out, since he’s been sleeping rough on my sofa. He reported me to the authorities for "elder abuse" and showed them fresh bruises I know the conniving old bastard gave himself. I was handcuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 93

By nodad - 11/10/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, I found out my dad stole money from me when he was arrested for buying Oxycodone from an undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 038

You deserved it 2 342

By carless - 15/08/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 906

You deserved it 4 231

By Anonymous - 30/08/2017 20:00

Today, my dad described our security cameras recording a stranger stealing money from his car, and then called me unhealthy and paranoid for locking my car all the time. My car is usually parked right next to his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 272

You deserved it 243

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 158

Next

Top comments

jayellef 3

Friday 2 December 2011 16:08

Call the cops.

L_Lovegood 19

Friday 2 December 2011 16:09

Nothing like family.

Comments

skarla_button 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 8:16

you all seriously need to learn how to use the "you totally deserve it button" idiots.

gunman15 4

Saturday 3 December 2011 8:22

Maybe he thought it would make a nice gift for you

dakins 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 9:53

Ouch!

PinkFun1969 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 11:15

O darling don't feel so bad. I got my 4 Year old some diamond earings for her birthday. The next day they were missing. Her bioaicial dad took them and pawned them for beer.

zecagle 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 12:01

I HATE it when that happens..although after the third time..well let's just say it never happened again.

xxhelenxx 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 13:03

wtf i think annoymous is fake havent u all notoced? it keeps switching from he she and they post about 10 fmls a day

mitchythegreeen 5

Saturday 3 December 2011 14:16

are you ******* retarded? you think anonymous is an actual account?

mitchythegreeen 5

Saturday 3 December 2011 14:12

@ #95 are you retarded? you think anonymous is an actual account?

Naitsi 19

Saturday 3 December 2011 15:50

haha

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 3 December 2011 16:24

I agree with #7 need a little more info here! How do we know that your mom was telling you crap about your dad and telling him to back off all these years? Or maybe he is unstable, could be undercover CIA needed your car! Do you owe him money?

AliCat18 12

Saturday 3 December 2011 17:16

your dads a douche!

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The Top

Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 448

You deserved it 34 800

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 170

You deserved it 4 026

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 186

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

Today, the county I live in is quarantined. My boss announced that, "We keep working until the government says they will shoot us if we leave the house.” We work in a call center. Not essential at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 225

Today, I remembered to show some customers at work photos of my cat that I had taken recently, and they love my "flat face" cat. All good, until I scrolled to a whole body nude I had taken to send to my boyfriend. I showed it to an entire family during my breakfast rush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 2 041

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 013

You deserved it 4 523

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 811

You deserved it 76 265