Animals: Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three...

By gettingacat - 17/12/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 874

You deserved it 5 617

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 881

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 3 557

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 194

By ChaoticGamer - 23/12/2015 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 812

You deserved it 1 909

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 5 154

By cwhitney7 - 22/12/2014 15:04 - United States - Waltham

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 774

You deserved it 13 354

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 229

You deserved it 3 376

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 08:34 - United Kingdom - Bromsgrove

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 472

You deserved it 1 918

By A - 09/02/2012 06:37 - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 690

You deserved it 4 147

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 5 860

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:33

In three days he will return to you... where have I read that before?

Psychopauser 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:14

Not a FML more like a FJesusFigureLife

Comments

f_alltheirlives 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:07

d o g - g o d !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This bitch is the anti christ!!!

silbern 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:13

the anti-Christ has arrived in the form of a dog! holy shit!

palasarop 0

Friday 18 December 2009 17:07

thats stupid the anti christ arrived in the form of carl rove

Sarcastic_Lady 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:18

How exactly is this an FML? "My dog ate a decoration. He'll be fine. He'll poop it out in a few days. My life sucks" really?

Shady_R 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:04

I put small objects where my dog could eat them and than I didn't have to pay for super expensive surgery to save his life.

aback 4

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:25

"It's sacrilicious."

tschoiuss 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 20:33

This is not an FML! This is just plain funny!!! I think there is another website for funny stories.

Kickens07 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:32

#18 MLIA.com!

JCadle90 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 21:50

atleast jesus will rise again

SookMauNoots 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:10

atheist dog

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:13

Ew. . . .

flemhead 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 22:16

holy shit, it's the Second coming of Christ! prepare for the rapture!!!!!!! lol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 327

You deserved it 6 125

The Top

Today, my best friend asked if car oil could be used as a substitute for lube. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 977

You deserved it 1 445

Today, after years of trying, I got the wonderful news that my husband is going to be a father. Too bad I’m not the mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 111

Today, after not hanging out with anyone the whole year, a guy finally asked me to go the movies with him. When I asked what time, he said, "Never mind, I found another girl." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 591

You deserved it 985

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 774

You deserved it 2 995

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 63 599

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 583

You deserved it 1 249

Same thing different taste

Christmas Chaos

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

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