Animals: Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three...

By gettingacat - 17/12/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 873

You deserved it 5 617

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Same thing different taste

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 537

You deserved it 879

By dogh8er - 18/12/2011 19:31 - United States

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 133

You deserved it 3 556

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 194

By ChaoticGamer - 23/12/2015 15:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to a horrible smell only to realize that my dog had peed all over my leg cast during the night. I can't get another one because the closest doctors are all on Christmas vacation. Guess this is an early Christmas present from my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 811

You deserved it 1 908

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 209

You deserved it 5 154

By cwhitney7 - 22/12/2014 15:04 - United States - Waltham

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 773

You deserved it 13 352

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for taking a shit inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 228

You deserved it 3 376

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 08:34 - United Kingdom - Bromsgrove

Today, I spent hours putting together a beautifully intricate jigsaw to give to my grandmother, who likes to frame them and hang them on her wall. Just as I was about to finish it, I discovered my dog chewing the last piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 472

You deserved it 1 917

By A - 09/02/2012 06:37 - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 690

You deserved it 4 147

By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 5 860

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:33

In three days he will return to you... where have I read that before?

Psychopauser 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 19:14

Not a FML more like a FJesusFigureLife

Comments

Emkayy_jalo 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 0:08

Thats gonna be some hollyy shit! hahaha Lmfaoo!

kimberleym 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 2:22

LOL @ #75 ! Holy shit ;D

13__Loki__13 1

Saturday 19 December 2009 3:27

I know what you dog is getting you for Christmas!!!

chrismace 11

Saturday 19 December 2009 9:05

Lol. That's kind of awesome.

teamwork 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 17:39

all y'all niggas saying "stfu you dumb atheist assholes" need to relax. apparently your beliefs make you high strung as well as undereducated.

PatRme 9

Monday 3 May 2010 13:21

Actually, no one is insulting athiests on this board. quite tge oposite.

teamwork 0

Saturday 19 December 2009 17:43

also, there's nothing wrong with some of the ethics and moral principles of religion, but modern religion has put such a hideous spin on the intent that it isn't even the same thing. the problem stems not from values, but from ignorance. unfortunately, ignorance might just include an inability to accept science.

turtlegirl04 0

Sunday 20 December 2009 10:31

i think that's hilarious my mom's very religious and i respect that of her even though i'm atheist. so all of those who say all atheist are asshole why dont you stfu and wise up some. jez and i thought they taught you to be nice to people in sunday school at least that's what i learned from it.

elleman24 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 7:40

hahahaha

sabatical 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 8:27

this has been posted before. except the vet was laughing and saying "not to worry, Jesus will be back in time for Christmas". it was funny then, but rephrased by someone else. not so funny. poor Jesus the guy never gets a break.