Health: Today, I shat out a staple. FML

By wtf - 09/06/2011 15:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 618

You deserved it 17 977

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Same thing different taste

By mimi - 27/09/2011 02:51 - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 682

You deserved it 35 753

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 745

You deserved it 3 630

By leprechaun23 - 23/04/2012 04:21 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 296

You deserved it 4 317

By Staples - 15/05/2010 06:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 274

You deserved it 49 089

By SenorPoopypants - 08/01/2017 19:23

Today, I shat myself during a job interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 667

You deserved it 992

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 488

You deserved it 7 421

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 136

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 266

Autopilot

By TuteBananaCupcake - 29/12/2023 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 571

By Maddie - 22/03/2011 15:39

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 492

You deserved it 12 939

rockerbaby3192 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 18:45

why did you eat one

BShady96 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:31

this fml was so short i had trouble opening it on my iphone -.-

Comments

steelersfan3250 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:47

wtf? how tf did it get inside you in the first place?!?!?!?!

Crazy4Christ 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 23:20

I have a couple ideas

trevishere 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:48

To 28.. I had to go to top and press the side arrow. I hate small FMLS!

ihatecops43 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:50

you ******* dumbass

trevishere 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:50

You're lucky it didn't cut your insides.

JacksonCampbell 9

Thursday 9 June 2011 19:51

This was ridiculously hard to tap in my iPod.

xjessxjessx 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 21:21

it took me like 6 tries to see the comments cause i couldnt click on it

Sirin_fml 46

Thursday 9 June 2011 21:30

Do you dare go to another page now? You might not manage to come back.

teh1337 1

Thursday 9 June 2011 21:49

took me 5 straight minutes of trying to get it.

michelleluvsyou 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 5:04

wtff?

BustaCapInYoAss 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:02

Why the **** would you eat a staple?

Bigstache 2

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:05

Dont you hate when that happens?

PSQ91 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:07

Ikr. It took me like a minute...

doodlemunster 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:20

ouch

Zero22120 12

Thursday 9 June 2011 20:23

Holy crap! What do you say to someone that does that?

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 056

Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak… from the sewage line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 943

You deserved it 2 295

The Top

Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 91

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 445

You deserved it 3 001

Today, I discovered that I had lost my phone. I drove to the campus to try and find it, and parked in a gated lot where you pay when you leave. All the buildings were closed, so I had to go home. That's when I realized that I didn't have my wallet to get my car out. And no phone to call a ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 148

You deserved it 7 679

Today, marks a whole month that my boss has asked me to come in early to my part-time job, which makes me pretty happy to get the extra hours. I casually made a joke that she might as well make me full-time now. That made her change her mind, now I'm back down to 23 hours a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 145

You deserved it 961

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 143

You deserved it 3 770

Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 209

Same thing different taste

Self-own

Jeremy?

Autopilot

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